well, is ntg reli special, juz dat is one of my dearez primary fren, cindy's b/day.. =) she is a perfect person, n i lik her alot, juz dat when we say we will go to catholic high school together, since our sis were in d same skul, n we din tot dat we were both nt in it, n yet oso nt in d same skul anymore.. i was sad den any1, nt oni her, even my other 2 bez fren was nt in d same place anymore, we went diff place, in a diff corner goin wif our life in a diff path, i always blif we were always together.. yea, i was still young dat time, i am nt an open person, i mean lik i am kinda "shy"?? bt i promised myself b4 i will nt 4gt them, specially my bez fren.. even we're apart, n yea, we dun tok much nw, juz 1 year ONCE?? or mayb twice? bt i wish we cn turn bek time s/hw.. i reli missed those day, dat is truly d bez memory i ever had.. i hv reli great fren, n yet, i duno hw to appreciate when i was lik very very young den.. abt std 1? or 2? bt she was reli one of my bez fren yet i juz am nt a great fren for her.. for me, i admit, i am stupid, lousy person.. horrible i guess.. =( dat is reli sad man! i am regrettin evi1day, is juz lik i lose s/1, even the person dun mind anymore, we were lik stranger, bt it juz hurt when ppl do dat, i reli wanted her to scold me for once, for makin her sad b4, even if we're soooo small dat time, i duno she rmb anot, bt i noe it sure made her sad? well, she hv fren oso, we r diff class, bt even if is MY thinkin, i am sori.. all i wan to tell her dis.. her=JL.. u were once reli reli reli my bez fren.. n nw oso, in my memory.. =)
and for d bez fren in primary, for sure, cindy.. and den there is chermaine and grace.. they were d bez ppl hu dun mind hu i am n wad i was.. chermaine, lik a sunshine, i reli adore her much.. u nvr knew hw nice she is, she always is s/1 in d bek for me.. cindy was kinda popular, n mayb i was a lil left out s/time, bt well, i used to b alone evi1time.. =) dat is y when i came to secondary, is weird to c s/1 lik yuki.. dat, is diff story.. bt well, for me dat evitime, i use to b alone, nt dat i want to, is juz normal i guess.. bt when it was lonely, chermaine was juz lik a bright sun dat was always wif me.. eventho she knew for me, i mean evibody know my fav first list was cindy, bt treatin me lik a great fren for no reason is her.. n dat is some one i love.. =) as a fren.. reli reli bez fren.. she was usually alone oso, well, mozly ppl are?? bt well, i am glad she was wif me.. d bez fren i have.. well, she experience wif a fren reli nt so gud personality, so when we meet, is juz dat she was my sun.. =) and grace, she was once our moniter's bez fren, yet moniter(claz president) was kinda more fren gang, n den left her alone sometime.. n for me, i knew she was reli treatin moniter a bez fren, bt i always cum to care for her n oso chermaine together, since those 2 were reli great fren.. =) there is oso vivian, she is gud.. =) oso treat me as a bez fren for hu i am, even i was treatin cindy as my first, they dun reli mind, i was hapi for dat.. for them, is hu i lik there, i dun reli hv a pressure on takin care which fren more or lez.. i hate troublesome thin, n i nid some space.. n they knew i wanted it, yet was great to me.. they dun mind if i reli was juz havin cindy, all of them were great, n dis was reli d special fren i love.. and well, bunch more, juz dat... i din 4gt, we juz s/hw lose contact? fren, s/time is nt forever, so dat's y i reli miss them, i duno do they..?
and when i was secondary, is sad in my expression, i guess is d worst year of my life dat very time, i dun y i s/hw feel lik dying.. well, eventho i am depress by d fact no fren in my new skul n so on, they is oni 7 student from my primary skul in there, n one of them, is a bully hu sit bside wif grace b4 n bully her.. very bad!! jk, bt reli, is nt nice at all, n say wad, d god juz grant him goin to A class n yet d whole form no.1 b4.. = =" he is totally, i cnt blif it.. i reli cnt blif i am goin to d same skul as him, i mean i hate dat very skul from d first glance.. dis skul, was nt even in my head.. all i wanted was goin for catholic, yet i failed to gt it.. n all i wanted was wif my dear frenz, yet all was scattered in diff skul, and all i wanted is juz some peaceful life, yet d god juz din gv me a rest, it juz came out from dat very time, dec 31 2007, d laz day on 2007, i went to gov hosp n i found out for d first time, me myself lik in a stupid drama scene callin me dat i hv a worst case scenario, bla bla bla for havin a serious case on my spinal cord dat i must hv a surgery dat time.. yes, i juz cnt blif god treat me lik dat.. sori god, i cnt blame u.. for me, i was juz 12 n i dun mean to hv any chance or even wish to gt recovery from that.. n d next day, of cuz is 2008, new skul, stupid skul actually.. (sori for u guys hu love my skul, i dun mean to burst ur bubbles, juz dat is my opinion).. is a stupid year for me, for me to get a serious sick dat for sure, no miracle to recover 100%, i mean, i was bein decide for surgery, yet my mum oppose, it juz was hard to decide, even for me, i tot it was ntg reli serious dat i hv to juz go 1st time, n 1st time tellin me doin dat? u gv me a shock dat i am 12 n u expect me to decide for operate? is dat a jock? truly, i juz luk ntg much, all i noe for sure, mum;s nagging.. all other ppl say was, parents hu dun luk out for their child n such.. i, dun hv parents hu care alot for me for 1 week 7 day.. bt i noe they were great.. juz, i dun hv much care? untill it was truly goin to d worse n when u c it, it;s too late? dis sick is s/thin d person cnt c for themself, is in d bek.. n evi1 juz say wad they wan, mum n dad, dr n nurse, aunt n uncle.. n all i do, was nt for myself to hear them scold or nag thin in my ear, juz a lil space.. bt, they dun understand.. =/ is dat care? i wonder??
and when i went form 1, i was in 1G.. well, i cn say dis, i din laz in there for 2 day.. =/ and my mum told me dat she request myself to b in d ground floor.. n ok, i duno wad to say.. and den it is class 1T den.. n yea, i met nice fren, well, dat class many indian, so i hv some indian fren, n chinese too.. is lik 1 malaysia.. is s/where i guess i understand evi1 mayb nice, nt by appearence n races, since i was in a chinese primary skul, bt there was an indian fren there, speak chinese oso.. =) it was s/how, knowin khanisha.. bt sadly, is lik when is finally spring, it juz came by a storm n den, i cnt stay there anymore.. i was bein call by prefect b4, n nw is teacher? n when d time i stay there for weeks in 1T, it juz s/hw stupid skul chg class here there, i nid chg again.. n i beg my mum juz let me b, n she was lik dun care.. i noe, u cn say is for my own gud?? i duno y, i reli hate myself in dat very time, i even try wantin to kill myself then.. yer... y i so "dark" wan ar?? o_O mayb of cuz, i use my brain oso, i dun juz kill myself for no reason, if i RELI do, i kinda wan to do it in a more makin them regret type.. wad a cruel girl i am.. =( i juz think silly dat time, hey, i was juz paz my b/day man, is still a 12 year old inside me.. =( i cn say, i reli cried for days for this issue, n wad my mum gv, ntg.. well, i dun ran out from hse or s/thin, i use my brain n think of cuz, i cnt work for myself, i cnt even gt money, where d hell i am gonna stay.. if i reli do dat, am i crazy? o.o i guess ppl hu do dat is crazy.. my opinion, if u reli do dat, sori.. and suicide, is dat reli necessary?? u die, u duno go where.. die, where is ur feelin gonna b? die, juz a word, wan die muz die "gt meanin" one.. =) mayb lik hero save ppl den die, dat is d bez!! bt hu d heck will b appearin as dat role anyway? ok, juz to say, being force to go 1B, seriously, over there oni cn see, malay.. - -' no offense, reli, juz dat dis class, is d "mix" class.. semi clever ppl add nt clever malay here.. u cn say, they dun care much for d study n such, i duno they r human or monkey, except for one malay hu is diff from other.. dat is er, vice moniter?? anyway, i dun mean "u" hu was readin dis if u r malay n etc, is them in my claz, diff ppl.. =) if u guys read till here, dun care u r havin wad skin colour, u were a great person.. =3 and there i met zhi mei, pei yun n well, yuki......... yuki, 1st impression, tok too much, 2nd, sayin so much, i dun even understand a single word(actually she is tokin abt anime, n for me, i duno wth is dat, n she juz keep on blab here n there, i dun hv time to even ask her wad is it.. o_O) well, anime n manga was a totally stranger to me, for my skul, nobody see, watch, noe abt it.. if gt, veryyyyy lez.. in our skul, was more, normal, lik in trend nt in otaku kind.. lik we folo d in-music, or mayb hip hop n such.. more towards trend n nowadays.. =/ anime, i duno wad is dat.. n den when ltr i noe, she was well, from yak chee, diff skul, n well, there many otaku.. young one.. - -' i hv no comment reli.. i hv no interez in dat kind of thin.. n i was hearin her blab n din ask her wad is it for half a year.. reli, serious, i hear her tok, bt i din watch or wadeva, i dun even noe wad is it dat she was sayin untill one day i was so bored n listen to wad she say n ask her, wad is anime..? crazy rite? i was lik hearin her tokin for so long nt knowing wad she was referring to.. hahahaha.. silly person lik me.. lolx.. well, recall bek, i was reli kinda.. stupid? o_O yea, i hate troublesome thin, i am nt interested bt i juz duwan burst her bubbles, it's ok for her if she was hapi to do dat, juz too much, i duno wad to say..... n den ltr on i oni knew abt her, was kinda.. i reli hv no comment, emo here n there, nt physically type, bt lik sayin hw terrible her condition were.. i mean, very negative when she was a fine normal girl.. n for me, i mean, INFRONT of me, i reli hv no comment on wad she is sayin, is she even tryin to compete hu is in a worst state? bt sometime, i reli admire her, for her to hv a mother dat care for her, juz sometime is over protective, bt is better den nt.. =) dis is d place i admire ppl hu hv caring parents.. such as yuki's mum, or even feline's mum.. =) in truth, i reli admire them, bt yuki juz oni noe hw to say hw worst she is, nt sayin her personality, is sayin her condition.. lik she more worst den my case, i s/time reli gt annoy from dat, bt wad to do, she reli negative, thinkin negative bt nt in d criminal way.. lucky i hv my brain wif me.. if nt i reli am goin to kill myself for stayin too long wif her, she say b4 suicide n such, i duno wad to say.. i was lik, is all yak chee student so abnormal lik her?? o_O reli, lik seein a diff species... (bt well, of cuz nt lar..) and den many day pass, even 1 year knowing her, i noe she is gud, bt s/time, is hate for her personality.. i dun mean i dislik her or anythin, juz d action she made la.. kinda know wad is she thinkin, wad she act... n d worst quarrel we ever had, i duno bt i still rmb well, i wrote lik a msg n send to her in crunchyroll.com, cuz dat time is reli popular on goin there for otaku..(nw is so cold, i duno hw long i hv nt been there edi, all nid $ n nw lez entertainment) and we on9 for eviday, so is better den sendin via hotmail.. bt i wrote so long, i guess lik my usual post, nt sooooo long bt not reli short, n u nid to scroll down.. n d next day i saw her, is nt reli very bad, bt d answer she gv me for d msg was, "oh, i c lik very long so i din c edi".. n i was lik, i gt no mood to quarrel down wif her, i juz smile n juz paz.. duwan to say anythin.. cuz i finally noe wad person she is n hw she treated our "frenship".. = =" u noe, if is in s/where i myself am dat time, i reli am goin to shout bad word n throw thins n burst my anger(in my mind).. i dun do dat in reality.. mayb nw, i cn shout in blog, phew, lez stress i guess?? bt well, i juz act ntg happen, den ntg happen.. lez tok, lez fight, i lazy to even bother, she is a "fren" which juz say dat we r "bez fren" bt reality, i duno when is d very time she treat me lik dat, gt, bt is dat even "true"? i more n more duwan to even noe more abt her.. n yet, no1 is s/1 was there for me lik i use to hv.. =( bein alone again, no big deal, 1 big deal is i cnt stand her if she juz continue wad she lik.. n well, i oso folo wad i lik, i treat her as a bez fren, bt well, s/hw, time cnt chg my mind, my primary frenz were still more den her frenship i hv.. bt she is a fren, i admit, a gud one, juz weird?? o_O bt gud.. =) and well, july start watchin anime, n end of dat, i end up goin in manga n manatau, d surgery juz came by.. did i ever mention wad is yuki doin when i was sufferin in surgery pain? i dun blame her, juz i duno is she reli concerned anyway? she was in, disneyland, well, i din say i mad at her for goin there, dat's silly.. juz dun lik when she tok abt it when she forgot dat was d time i had to pass my student day in d stupid hospital.. wif d terrible medicine, yuck.. is she even sensitive to understand dat? she was lik tokin lik she was hapi n dun bother wad i wan to say.. n when i say my prob, she juz pass it down n say wad she wan.. n when it come to her prob, she nid to say untill very over reacted kind, n i cn do is listen, seriously, i start goin wad i wan n wan i duwan.. mayb cuz of her? i reject when i duwan to hear, wan means wan, duwan den say no.. easy n simple.. i hate doin thin i dislik.. juz other den some dat cnt prevent.. i duno wad to say.. = =" bt still remain a fren anyway.. =) she is gud, juz weird.. bt gud...... anyway, form 2 ar, i cn say, dis year was ok, cuz in another half year, i knew pei wen.. =) a person hu hv mozly, well, nt reli all lar, bt mozly d same likin i process.. =) we knew each other, mainly, sori bt is abt yuki's bad point.. wenn, agree? =D no, we dun mean to gossip bhind her bek, bt is discussin d oni person/fren we cn rely in dat class bt she juz simply ditched us 2 hu duno each other n went for other ppl.. well, if is a girl guy relationship, i guess is kinda lik a playboy.. bt dis is frenship la.. so we hv many thin in common, n well, pei wen oso miss her form 1 fren.. =) i understand dat.. so mozly dat time is pei wen n her fren, yuki s/time, duno go where tok liao, n i was s/time alone, well, no big deal anyway, bt hu luv lonely anyway? o_O no1 does lar.. bt i juz dun mek a big fuss lik yuki for bein alone, hw many dozen time i had heard her over-reacted loneliness prob.. is dat even wantin ppl attention or juz simply wantin ppl to b bside u n den u ditched them off when u hv other fren.. = =" i was lik, wth, dun even tell me dat.. u were d person hu should blame first, other den sayin other ppl hu made u "lonely".. arghh!! y am i sayin bad stuff anyway, she is GUD!! juz dat is weird, i duno hw many times i rpt dis, bt i s/hw when i say abt her, is weird stuff abt her.. = = i am reli sori, bt i reli treat her as my fren, eventho many thin happen, bt a fren is always a fren.. =) well form 3 is ok, i sit wif pei wen, thins go better.. n juz a second ago, i was thinkin hu yuki sit wif.. - -' i reli cnt rmb untill i try to recall d girls in our class laz year.. i think i'm old, i keep forgettin stuff.. TT it haven even been 3 months n i almoz forgotten.. well, 1 year reli passed dam faz.. >_>" i still cn rmb d time we met angeline, shir jin n yuen yen.. wad a year.. i reli think i am kinda havin sick for forgettin thin.. is dis even normal for a 16 year old girl hu juz passed her b/day few week ago? anyway, i knew pei wen better n we bcum, sis?? =) well, she is understandin den yuki, juz d fact i scared of her is when she is mad.. reli scary.. ><" dark aura cum from her, instict tell me, dun go near her lik dat.. well, for sure, ppl nid space, i noe dat as well.. muz gv her space, air to breath, enen.. bt is better if she scold out, let her anger out, lez scarier.. n better, lez stress.. =) bt well, space, important.. =) abt hw many cm?? o.o bt wenn very gud wan, she dun usually angry, lose temper many time.. nt lik me, bad attitude n oso no gud moral value on me.. hahax.. anyway, juz gonna say, i luv my fren.. hope they luv me too, eventho they hv bad time n side, bt i oso as well, so is actually, evi1 is d same, juz see hw u luk at..
form 4, noe feline, fren a.. wad is her name again?? ><" sori, nid gv me time to rmb ar.. oh, hong shen teng, well gv me abt 15 sec to rmb dat.. well, feline, frenly nice n such.. juz is sad, i duno wad to tok to her in reality.. =( scared i tok too much, she duno wad i tokin?? or mayb cnt gt or no common at all?? o_O bt i hope we cn gt use to dat.. =) for me, i admire her lor.. =] after operation, i hv open minded a lil.. =) i knew nt me hu was sufferin from case lik dis, n many was more worst, lik cancer or etc.. bt i juz hate d time BEFORE operation, is reli cruelity, i went to many places, lik chinese 'msg', is nt msg at all, is a DAMN PAIN pressin on bone n clik clak here n there kind of msg.. suffer much.. nt oni dat, oso stupid kinetic wad d heck place,do u think dis will juz miracle-ly heal from walkin n such, wad a stupid thin to made up juz for money, n my parents, i duno wad d heck r they thinkin.. they were for my own gud? at liz use a lil logic, dat CNT b, i was wastin my time on them.. money oso.. is lik, i rather go operate dat time den goin there wastin my time.. = =" stupid places.. (sori if it offense u, bt i juz say if u do dis job, pls b aware dat when u wan earn money, pls dun earn lik dis, u r equal to killin s/body from sayin dat n when is too late, u cnt fix, u r d person dat i cn even think to blame.. dun bcuz of money, u nid to kill s/1 lik dis).. n den, duno wan say wad nw.. i reli wan to end dis soon, is too long..
today, i noe angeline wear baju kurung, n den i forgot mozly of d h/w, i think i gt forgetful sickness or s/thin, and den fin skul i wait for mum abt 30min oni cum n den she cal me to transfer skul to d nearby one, n den, wan to hv a luk lik open hse but nt, cuz dis is oni for my father's boss n company one, so is kinda nt fren n family thin.. juz business.. and den, er.. i dun wad to say.. juz say cindy reply my sms n she din 4gt me, reli very touchin.. s/hw, is s/thin i reli hapi abt..
today, pei wen gt tok abt, wad is d thin dat gv u happiness, is nt kinda meanin lik feelin happy lik dat, is happiness dat gv u a very complete feelin.. and well, she say she was eatin.. haha.. n her sis is sleep.. for me, mayb u will say is manga.. i consider dat as well.. bt mayb my happiness juz lies on a simple care, dat is somethin i cn say, my happiness.. =) n wenn, u gv me b4, evi1 do, juz see hw much does it reli is.. and d moz i wan, mayb, i guess is my parent.. =] bt i din expect them to do dat.. is troublesome if is tooooo over.. so den, gonna end here, i ty evi1 for readin my memory post.. is all abt fren.. there is oso fren lik cullyn, tj, pei yi and many many more.. juz dat, they are oso important, bt, evi1 hv frens, near or far, bt importance to me were fren i cherish.. all dis years, ty.. n oso, even if u r nt a fren in reality of mine, u were one too juz under d same sky.. =)
ty for readin, ttfn, sori for d nonsense.. =) my memory is precious, so i wan to rmb them, juz sori if i cnt rmb some of it, i gt prob of rmb thin.. =( bt i will always cherish them.. thank you.. ♥♥♥
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