[1st, pls dun read if u think is borin cuz ltr on they is almoz nonsense in d way.. juz to tell u dat.. so u can skip if u wan to.. ahaha..]
well, basiclly, my hse was still in renovation till noon dat they gt emergency went bek, n well, clean d floor outside dat fin renovate.. den evenin eat jp style.. wif miso soup.. den er.. watch hong kong drama, "can't buy me love", well, i watch fin d drama, juz rewatch since my dad n sis wan watch.. n den, they decide to go out eat dinner, but i ate dinner juz den.. but den, i decide goin, but they oso wan go shoppin, to me, i dun reli wan to.. bt when i hear makan, i juz nvm juz go n end up evi1 goin.. so we went to eat claypot rice, s/thin lik dat.. bt on d way, well, in d car to b exact, cuz my mum car went "out" again, mayb for days since ytd.. and so we ride on dad car, well, beksit, squeezy enuf to put 4 ppl, lucky we 4 are nt fat, bt opp, skinny.. i cn say in us 4, i am d heaviest, or s/time nt, depend, comparin wif my sis.. bt d laz time we check, i was abt same or more lil den my sis, tho we were diff by 3 year.. and well, her waist is lil den mine 1 or 2.. but still, if u noe me, u cn see hw skinny i am dat i myself gt laugh of laz time..^^ i try bein normal bt juz end up fail, u c ppl wan to b skinny, i wan to add a lil fat.. haha.. not fat, bt from abnormal skinny to normal.. bt well, other den my dad, he's fat, mum n us all was skinny untill, no eyes to c.. nt lik african bt well, nt normal.. tho is okok.. to me is not gud.. >< well, bek to topic, dad car can read usb, and d radio juz blab out some unknown language dat sound lik hokkien bt is not.. very weird.. lik hainan or s/thin.. den, i ask dad to tek d usb reader to play d song i download n load in his usb juz few days ago b4 he went outstation.. n den storm came, it ended up a fight between me n my dad.. reason due to, he said i tuk his pendrive w/out returnin n absolutely sure i gave him d nite b4 he went out.. well, i rmb i even demand a thx from him since he complain dat i din load him song for a dozen years.. i noe my dad is kinda lik sense of humour n s/thin, but when he tok, it s/time reli made ppl from unhapi to angry.. should i say, i ended up explainin to him to clear up my right for nt takin his thin, bt in a high volume.. n i noe, we were wrong.. mornin oso my dad went quarellin wif my bro n for sure, my bro dun care lez n scolded him, n dad scolded bro, say kill den kill.. well, i duno y they end up sayin dat.. but well, if me i oso will b angry.. but if is a point of elders n youngs, i will b wrong to speak bek, i noe, but all my thought was juz claimin my right from gettin blame on s/thin i dun do.. n his word is terribly harsh n well, same goes to mum hu duno where they went wrong on themself since they dun hv to a mirror to c, so they oni cn c others wrong, yet when they r in d same situation, they're claimin them right..and i try keepin myself say lez, dun speak.. well said, bcum a dummy.. n den after reach d place, i ate 2 bowl of dat rice, vege n drank soup n drink.. well, i was not so full yet, eventho i ate dinner.. n den ok liao, lik ntg happen, i dun lik givin a damn towards dis thin.. so if one can step bek is d bez way to mek thin clear.. n well, try nt to put so much feelin towards it.. n den ltr on is goin to shoppin, bt mum oni wan buy a4 paper ONLY.. n i dun wan go since is nt much.. she startin say tesco, well, if is s/where i hv no businez in it dat interez me, i dun even care to bother goin.. so if ioi, is CT d bez, n sushi king, tesco is sushi king, bt we juz ate dinner, so i dun wan go.. den mum ask wan go jusco or giant, den jeremy say giant.. n y, he wan to eat ice-cream bt dun hv cone wan for sure, lik mac donald.. den i request to stay on d car waitin for thm, n well, they is hitz.fm wif me, i gt ntg to b bored of better den wokin s/thin i dun hv businez wif.. n den mum ask hu wan go, n jeremy said he wan.. den ltr on he say he duwan go.. but well, after find parkin, brian went off, n since dat 2 bro very close, i mean too damn fackin close lik hell dat reli s/hw piz me off.. if they r nt bro, i can say wad a normal ppl will say their relationship was, gay partner.. no kidding, seriously, is true.. u wouldn't blif wad they do wif each other when they play or wadeva, even bath together, bt dat mayb a normal thin to bro, bt well, they're action, reli gay in a way dat is nt girlish, bt.... i duno wad to say.. = = well, bek to topik, since brian went off, jeremy oso go jor.. den my mum dun gv me to stay bek alone, well, is ok to me, n i understand my mum duwan me to b alone in d car, but no1 willin to stay bek wif me.. specially jeremy dat said he will, makin my mum chg her mind oso him, s/hw made me nt hapi.. n well, i hate wokin no of my businez walks.. i noe, i am lazy.. but well, i hav ntg to do from d start, n my mum jz wan to buy her thin.. so wad for evi1 goin down for ntg? to me is juz waste of time.. well, normally ppl will say, if duwan go shoppin grocery, den can go window shoppin in shop lot.. well, to my family, is not.. i cnt say anythin.. if my mum say 1, u cnt say 2.. and well, my dad is always obey my mum, dun even care lez to listen our tok.. dat's y in d car he always put d pressure on us, except jeremy n my sis.. he get from mum, n he cnt refuse of cuz, my mum is very bad tempered n u say her, she will dun listen to u n reli s/hw makin ppl unhapi.. but wad to do, she is lik queen there, cnt say anythin, if nt our head oso cnt keep safe.. and dad juz put d pressure on us, n well, my bro, brian too.. mum n dad always hv other face wif jeremy, cuz reason is always he is d youngest.. nt i jealous of wad usually ppl will think, lik family love or wadeva, is d other thin, dat is always gv us pressure, specially me, and well, doin stuff oso cal me, wrong den scold, is normal, but if u say jeremy, he juz doesn't do all d hard work, he can play freely, n i cnt even sleep late abit.. ><" so wad i reli mean is, 1 word, UNFAIR.. well, i noe i'm eldest, evitime, eldest here n there, i wan die edi! my sis oso was gettin pissed off n pressured n was always tokin of gettin out d hse soon as possible, well, i am nt like her sooo hot tempered, cuz she is exacly same as my mum, juz they dun admit.. but i oso will get mad if i reli get pissed, juz dat when i reli cnt think b4 i said.. and after said den a lil regret wad i juz said but my right, dat is wad i do, well.. u cn say i am nt a gud girl or person, cuz i noe i am not.. hu say i am?? dat is y i cn say ppl, cuz i am nt a gud person at all.. i mean ppl mean those family or those hu reli get on my nerve?? well, but family sure got argument n such, hu doesn't? dun tell me u dun wad.. i understand yet i was s/time nt hapi wif d unfair-nez they gv.. well, when i was std 2, i nid help my mum wif cookin on lunch n dinner etc.. and evitime oso scold us, n to jeremy, he is std 4 now, wan to std 5 another few weeks and he was still treaten lik a big-baby to my mum n dad.. when will he ever grow to them? is he always so baby for ever bcuz he is d youngez.. he was still usin baby bottle untill dis year!! and all they cal him was big-baby.. i noe he cute, except c long den is irritatin, noe long is misunderstandin(misunderstand he is nt reli wad u 1st luk), live together long is i dun even wan to c samo.. = =" well, he dun respek elder, juz brian, cuz brian always beat or box or punch him dat was his punishment for ntg much.. bro huh? brian is violent n such, i oso dun wan care more, s/time reli get on my nerve.. bt well, he is oso my team from gettin pressure by dad.. juz mine add on studies well brian is s/hw no hope for my parent to c.. so they think i study very gud, actually not! hu say i very gud..?! i hv no gud part, dun gv me more thin sayin i was better den my sis n blah blah.. i noe i cnt beat over her, y they juz cnt see clearly wif they're eyes dat was bein cover by d thin dat my sis hv a bf.. so wad? havin bf does nt mean she is nt gud in study or such!! get a clue on it!! wad century n year n time is it nw? they juz lik speakin ppl businez thinkin n well, they dun even understand well.. geh! s/hw if 1 person gettin praised, mayb a gud thin, to me is nt.. i dun nid any lie of bluffin praises, i understand nt hurtin s/1, bt if nt bein honez, is juz kiss ass.. do u get it? is nt d truth.. i noe if knwin 1self bein said nt gud is nt reli a gud thin u're hapi abt, even to me, is oso harsh, bt is better den sayin those stupid lie makin ppl hapi.. well, i noe s/time i hurt ppl.. by sayin reli straightforward words n such, i do regret from nt thinkin den speak out bt well truth is thruth, i dun think is right to say i tek it bek.. well, they is also time sayin s/thin dat is exact opposite from wad i think n wad i said, dat may cuz misunderstandin, well, i regret, juz in my heart, i apologize evitime, bt in reality, ntg cum out in my words.. cuz mayb stubborn mek me wan to continue sayin wrong words, bt my mind juz think hw sori i am.. well, diff ppl hv diff thought.. so do i.. eventho i wan s/1 to juz understand a lil part of me, nt by wad i say out, but is hard, reli hard.. even a single family i noe understand me.. juz a lil i hoped for.. if to compare, i guess is sis, bt to say clearly from evithin, there is none.. luk at d bright side, i dun wan them to even understand anyway, cuz i dunwan to understand them, eventho i do.. they r so simple minded n easy to think out wad they think.. i dun mean evitime n precisely, bt even understandin hurts when u knew lot.. so is better off ntg den.. dun understand, dun hv any hardship, gettin bek d way it was, is better.. mayb juz lik some story said, reality is ntg but a reality, is better in a place u get dat does nt concern reality is better.. well, dat mayb a reason for me too to b s/hw gettin to find a place dat belong to me.. is nt runnin away, is a reason to let my feelin b wash away some time.. well, if u knew me well, u will noe wad i mean.. bt is there..? i duno.. juz hopin it can continue forever.. is nt a great thin to say, bt well, juz wad i think of my mind sayin those to me.. i reli very easy blif s/1, bt oso doubt s/1.. reli very complicated.. i actually blif from my heart, but there is always a wall i hav bside me.. i actually reli do, yet lil mistek juz mek those wall thinken.. mayb i should c d doctor for thinkin too much untill imagine walls n such.. lol.. bt well, hapi go lucky.. ntg to worry so much.. i was always nt in a great mood when pissed bt tried to stay calm nt to say much prevent arguement, bt in others eye juz seem to say i angry wif them n mekin them mad at me.. ><" is family reli dis hard to understand anyway?? nvm, always lik dat.. dis is wad family r, fight n such.. lol.. i blif my family, bt nt reli my bro, bt i cnt truz them.. they r important, dat's y, i dun wan to let them noe wad i wanted to reli say to mek them worry or even is nt possible to understand wad i wanted to mean, i mayb gettin scolded of, or smile lik ntg happen, tok lik is over, but i was hurt reli badly from d start.. cuz i reli do hope they will even noe wad i think in my mind for juz once w/out me sayin out, bt dat is juz dream? wish? hope? is nt reall gonna happen.. well, hu will ever noe hw to read minds?! i once blif it, reli.. bt actually now, i reli am thinkin i was so stupid for thinkin dat way.. is juz s/thin ppl bluff u wif a really great lie.. reli, i got cheated from dat stupid lie lik dat, n hw stupid i am?! well, of cuz i dun blif at 1st, but when he tek god name out, i reli think mayb cn, well, magician can rite? lik david b and such.. in d way i reli juz doubt his word, bt i try blif from d outside.. juz it end up ntg.. well, example lik read minds? haha.. ppl lie, white lie, lil lie, gud lie, bad lie, lying for oneself, so many, but lie juz hurt.. i oso lie, u too, no1 will nt, except monks or s/thin.. bt when u do, u muz tek d responsibility of dat lie wif u always, and knowin hw heavy it was, to continue it.. well, i mean if u hv a heart wif u, if nt, i dun even consider u as a human or animal, cuz s/1 w/out a heart is cruel dat may kill ppl n such.. n they dun even regret doin it.. well, till here, from when i cum from my days to killin ppl..? o.o i dun kill of cuz, except ants, bugs, er.. small creature lik gems n s.thin dat is tiny.. =) specially killin ants, well, nt wif my bare hands of cuz, i juz spray~~!! n all in few sec, all corpse of ants there.. well, i oso gt feel sori for them, a lil.. i guess.. i din say i am a very gud hearted person wad.. i oso kill ant wan mar.. =D i dun kill ppl n dog cat etc of cuz.. dat is crazy.. = =
ok den, my nonsense oso end here.. thx for readin.. till nw, ttfn!
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