Monday, December 27, 2010

being satisfied n feel contentment of ur life

well, is s/thin i should mayb learn in my life.. n if possible, i wanted my family to do so.. satified wif evithin, is nt easy for evi1 to be.. even in d debate comp where my fren went compete in few months back, the winner was discontentment in life is rather better den being content n satisfied wif evithin we hav.. reason was chasin on dream dat we dream for in d positive way.. wad we ppl think is impossible, if we get d dissatisfies in it, we will continue nt givin up goin forward.. bt dat is juz a stupid excuse they ever had, i dun mean to pick a fight, is juz my prob if it is, is juz my opinion.. do u ever c ppl lik dis bside u? well, i tell u, in dis whole world, is 1 in a million will b like dat.. all example they took was lik anderson n such.. nt givin up n such.. makin a light bulb in d end.. dat is nt reli an answer i can approve by d subject given.. when u put it in d real world, if evi1 was dissatisfy wif their life, won't it b hard for evi1? i noe evi1 is selfish, so am i, hu doesn't? well, of cuz other den those reli kind ppl i duno of.. bt den, i hope ppl will juz b open n get a lil satisfy wif wad they had.. unsatisfiable heart is reli s/thin i despise.. even if i do, i too do to myself.. i dun mean d positive side of it, is d normal way of unsatisfied feelin.. y am i sayin all dis thin, is bcuz my sis was kinda unsatisfied wif evi lil thin she  had.. n after so many thin when ppl was eager to want while she had, she isn't reli satisfy wif evithin she had on her hand.. well, i dun mean to say oni her, i oso for sure.. bt dis attitude of her mek evithin worse.. n well, i was sleepin d early nite ytd, n i hv a reli bad(or may abnormal) habit dat well, i dun reli concern much wif my phone.. i noe, in dis kinda time n century, ppl use fon lik is their life, 24/7 wif it, well, i kinda think is important when i cn contact my fren, n well, d hse fon was useless to me, cuz i will usually b in my room lik forever.. so it may oso nid wif my family... well, other den dat, lil not veryyy important to me.. except usin cam or writin some important thin to let me rmb ltr, i am a very oblivious person.. = =" other den all those, is useless to me.. well, main point is, i dun usually get track on wad my fon has evi min or sec.. well, if u noe me well, u will noe, so muz reli is s/1 reli understandin to b fren wif me.. haha.. =D wow, nw i think bek, well, wenn, u reli is great lieh.. haha.. anyway, since i'm a lik-dat person, so i din notice dat nite reli a bomb was activated in s/where when i was in my dream.. well, next day, dat is today, i was lucky i went down w/out bumpin wif my mum, hu was dedicated to her gardenin since mornin outside.. n well, i still duno wad happen den.. n i went to read manga, i mean continue d manga i left off.. n well, gt a sms ringtone.. n i went findin it hv 5 of it.. n well, 4 was ytd nite.. all was nt reli s/thin i understand..bt i noe, is ntg gud at all..

MUM sms 1: due to complaint+ discontentment.frm ne on no reward on exam result as all expenses fully paid. hostel fee paid. unfilial children
MUM sms 2: exam result c.d.e. stop schooling. find a job to earn ur own livin.. wef(i duno wad wef mean) 1.1.11, will disconek hp n internet line
SIS: u hapi nw? bcoz of u, evithin chg, i'm nt ur sis anymore
mum: dun worry, u won't hear from me anymore. no nid to stress for ur exam cuz u tok dirty lik a low class whore on d street. u dun deserve to b a student.. my final msg for amy(my sis) after she use d 'fuckin' word in her laz sms
DAD: dun mek mum angry. dun stay in ur room or otherwise she is goin to cancel d internet. help hse work n do cleanin n deco for d cumin hse warmin party mid next month
ME to DAD(since dad was d calm of all in d sms): wad happen? i duno wad happen oso.. suddenly u all send sms scold me.. wad happen to u guys? y nid to put d blame on me? i duno anythin at all
DAD: chg 4 betterment. detail check wif mum

i gt a feelin my sis will sure nt satisfy wif it.. since i gt a C in bm, well, should dat mean i nid stop schooling oso? bt i was confused by my mum sms, is she even tokin to me anyway?!? i dun stay in hostel.. n i din even say a breath in dat argue they had dat time.. n well, for sure my sis was directly shoot to me in her sms, n i duno wad happen at all.. = =" well, i get cash for reward, bt i din get any fon or wad my mum promised b4.. well, i'm satisfy wif d money i guess, eventho i lost track to hv a new fon.. bt d cash was less den d cost of a new fon anyway.. y is she so high-per up wif juz a stupid lil thin dat she is nt even wantin to let it go when i hv dis.. = = when is fon, she say her complaint, i din speak out anyway.. n nw is lez den a fon, she still duwan to let me.. y isn't she even a lil caring for her younger sis? for all d time, i dun mind cuz i respect her.. she was eldest n such, i do reli.. n i try to lez mek argument wif her anyway.. if is possible, i let her.. bt i oso hv rights ok? i dun mean i was better or wadeva, for evitime, i think she was d bez of us for bro n sis.. n well, i oso hv right to b selfish for myself too! i am nt a stupid generous person evitime, even i try to evi lil detail to prevent argue, u will nt even care to understand wad i do.. wad i wanted, u always say i gt wad i hav, n well u juz have d bez n more den me while sayin dat, i din speak out anyway.. i hate d stupid attitude u and mum share.. d stupid hot tempered w/out thinkin.. eventho u 2 dun agree both of u share them, is d same, from other ppl point of view.. mum say her, she say mum.. well, both r d same, juz u dun seem to understand on urself.. d bad side u guys hv, u juz dun admit dat.. and i juz damn hate dat stupid attitude u guys have! y dun u guys juz hv a lil understandin for juz once in a lifetime!! y u guys juz dun seem to think b4 u even do s/thin..!! for evitime, i try n try, i cnt b a perfect person, bcuz i am nt.. i oso hv time i hv anger n sadness..!! when ppl r blinded wif greed n selfish or even feelin, can they nt c wad is in front of their very own eye? wad the heck sendin stupid u r nt my sis anymore?! insane in ur stupid simple minded brain! one day u reli dig ur own grave wif dat attitude of urs! even if u reli do wan to break up dis bond, i dun think i can calmly say yes to u.. u noe, u reli hurt evi1, bt all i can say was u r reli stupid for sayin dat.. for tryin to break dis family.. is dis nt satisfied for u for havin a family? or as an orphan is better for u den? i dun understand where u reli went so far to? i noe ur attitude, bt s/hw cuz i can reli hate u for havin them, bt mayb i juz cn't.. cuz u're my sis, all i do was smile lik ntg happen n let it go in my heart, evitime, do u guys, as a family, understand hw i once felt, for thinkin of keepin a family? i noe i was nt reli a gud great child for parents, i'm lazy, for sure.. is nt reli a gud thin.. i'm nt a gud sis, rite? n well, i duno wad i done wrong in, bt i dun kinda fit wif ur taste.. n dun even seem to lik my family s/time.. mum was oso same as my sis, reli unreasonable.. i understand i was nt a gud daughter, may i oso add dat i never once say i am from d start.. i dun actually think i was myself, all i find inside me was bad place i had, bt i juz lik bein myself.. u cn't chg ur personality in 1 day.. bt i noe if i done bad, well, if i reli done it, i may felt sori inside.. is stupid for if i was a criminal, i would kill n yet pray for them in my heart dat kind of person.. no1 ever understand ppl, since we dun read mind.. i understand, bt i reli hope my family juz understand me.. after 16 life i'm goin to b wif them in my life, they juz dun get wad i think.. by mum msg, i think was mozly sayin to my sis, well, my sis was surely to me den, n dad, i noe he gt pressure from my mum attitude, dad was lik a slave to mum, he cnt tok bek to my mum, so d oni way to release his pressure he hv to us, specially me or brian, well, jeremy was youngest  n was my parents' big baby.. i get it, i lik hidin in my room hole, hidin inside can oni c me when i was findin food.. juz cuz i duwan to mek any relating much wif them, specially mum.. it will end up s/thin nt reli gud.. i gt help out wif d work, well, bt y nt my bro too.. cuz i oso lazy person, wif lik lazy person untill duno hw to say.. lol.. bt well, i was wth is wrong wif them when my dad reply my msg, i dun dare to luk any further.. well, d main thin i noe was my sis nt satisfy wif me, n well, in a place i am nt even there..
well, ltr on went to ioi, eat mac donald, n s/hw, i kinda mek me feel dislike for it.. rest assure, i dun mean it taste bad for mac lover.. well, juz dat, bored of eatin it till lik stuff wif them untill there was dislik feelin for it.. hu noes, if a normal person continue eatin mac burger for 1 month, dat is nt reli wad u luv from d start, will u nt gettin d feelin of dislik n bored of it.. = =" n well, dis time, d fries taste bad there.. fry too long? i duno, bt d taste is nt reli s/thin nice, n well, my bro say keep it n save for ltr when they went hungry, they will eat eventho is nt reli tasteful lik usual.. well, lik when u're hungry, even a simple dislik food will taste delicious.. =) i dun mean other thin dat cnt eat.. den my mum go wif her fren together n us, to buy pot.. d plant one.. n there gt some flower n such.. n is kinda er, special to us, dat d pitcher plant appear for oni RM19.90!! bt kinda incredible hw it even eat insect when inside is all reli NOTHING at all.. hw it even digest it?? incredible!! i tot i will see it in d amazon or deep forest high up d mountain.. din tot i can see it juz bside d highway.. bt i kinda doubt it was even a pitcher plant, cuz i duno if it reli is.. bt shape lik it same as d book we saw picture of it.. i even go google.. well, i think is gua.. juz d low class type, can sell for less den RM 20, hw cheap.. i tot is exp when i tot is deep in mountain.. haha, city ppl lik me.. i mean silly ppl lik me.. =P lik ppl say, u nid to c d real thin if nt u reli duno.. haha.. lik if u reli din c a real alien, hu noe u might even think of a new species! bt sad thin was, bcuz of 'saving' my bag from bein squeesh into d seat, i tuk it out n well, it kinda 'broke' for dat moment.. wad a fragile bag i hv, hope to get a new one, bt wif dad around, i dun think i can handle even wif juz mum around.. TT sad, is it juz a dream den? =( bt well, din expect much, i duwan to force them buy me one or wadeva.. wad a family.. =] see d bright side, see d bright side, s/time i cnt even c it when i was reli wantin to find where d bright side is.. well, family is family, no argue sure is nt family for sure.. cuz is nt normal.. well, s/time overboard oso nt gud, cuz breakin family realation is possible, example lik my dad's older bro n dad's younger sis.. they broke edi.. nt my dad la.. bt nw is my mum wif my dad's family.. gt argue n well, we children very unlucky, less andpau during chinese new year.. TT laz time evi year will go eat in restoran wif lik a big feast, nw i guess cuz my mum n my granma(dad's mum) r nt reli in a peaceful relation, n lik, er causin till here.. well, my mum attitude of her n oso grandma.. i duno hw to explain.. many conflict.. complicated.. bt if u r in a gud state nw, ppl should b content wif wad they had.. well, i dun say i am, i oso nid to learn to.. =) in a positive way.. so den, i dun mean u cn b content n hapi n gv up life bcum a beggar.. nt dat way ar.. pls dun confuse.. ><""" dat is nt 1 bit positive at all..
well den, goin to end dis long tok here.. mum say goin to b goin to ioi again tonite wif dad, duno real anot.. well, i juz finish off majin tantei naugami neuro manga, 202 chapter!! yay! i tuk 4 days to finish it, due to d stupid slow internet signal i have.. >_>" if is a buk, i cn read it more den twice completely in half a day.. = =" well, i guess i understand some ppl juz dun lik readin on9.. bt well, is free.. =) is nice, bt wad end was dat? i duno should i tek anime or manga for d rez of my rez day, another 1 week n cum skul edi.. arghh!! skul again!! goin to start soon, hopin is s/thin gud, lik er, same class wif wenn, or even great teacher lik Mr.Lee or s/1 nice n great in teachin.. well, i hope Mr.Lee teach me, n anti-Pn.Tan 4 sure.. sc n mt muz b gud teacher.. =) okok, i reli end here, den thx for readin dis poz, i duno i can say i am nt reli hapi in d start part bt i duno y i dun kinda see myself, d reality me sittin infront of d com havin d tought of it, i mean din show at all.. well, i guess mayb reli ppl cnt understand wad i think cuz if i am d reflection in d mirror, i cnt understand wad i am reli feelin too.. hahaha.. anyway, i reli thanks u guys for readin it, appreciate is wad i wan to say.. me to u, n u to all bside wad u hold, appreciate them n b satisfy d current u hv, cuz life is short, so mek it a thanks to all u indebt to,  b4 life goesn regret.. live ur life ur way! (well, pls b sure wad u're doin, no offense on likin, bt i am nt responsible for teachin kid doin bad thin lik they think is play time.. no criminal act!! no terrorism!! if u reli do those stupid bad act, r u a kid?! well, pls b sure 100% to differentiate.. den freely go on wif ur likin! ^o< ) ttfn!!

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