changes in me during 2013

it was half a year i think, since the last post.
i really don't seem to be work up much in the blog, kinda lazy these days during the times after school had ended for me.
half a year, many things change since the last post i did.

i leave Mahsa Uni after around end of April, with a last min e-mail to the head of pre-uni department, Dr. James Walsh. i feel sorry since my parents was the one that think it is unnecessary to confront with him about the matter of accepting an offer from another college with a scholarship.

i try out my sister's college which is Tunku Abdul Rahman college with the result i had in SPM of 8A1B. and one day during class in Mahsa, a phone call telling me i got offered.
that moment, i was panicked on what to do, which to choose, stay or change, move forward or leave and start anew.
it was a 75% scholarship on my first and last choice of studies when i apply, Cambridge A Level in Science was one and only choice i wrote during the application.
my dad tell me staying in Mahsa pre-uni foundation in science, then continue degree there for dentistry.
my mum think since having scholarship, go for it.
my sis was agreeing to me being accepted in her college since she do not need to fetch me to and fro to class if i continue at Mahsa, but just stay with her at KL near the college.

In the end, just right before few weeks from the sem examintion of Mahsa Uni, i left and went to the orientation in TARC for Cambridge A Level in Science majoring Biology.
it lasted a week, and i was alone that time. no one was there with me, i sat between people, and no matter where i stare, there are in a group, not like me, just sitting quietly.
the only person i knew was my childhood friend which i never met for 5 years is taking the same course i did.
she was the youngest among her sis, they were a triplet.
my fren, Chermaine took CAL(cambridge a level) in ART majoring Law, her oldest sis took the same as me, CAL in Science majoring Biology, and her 2nd sis took CAL in ART majoring maths.
i was alone, so i often ask my sis to guide me along the campus since she is a senior there.
the campus was closed for a week during the orientation week, and only newbies which are freshmen like us only be found around the college.
by bringing my sis along with me, many scouting member of a society or participant for a competition such as a beauty pageant often find my sis beside me which is not legal to participate since she is not a freshmen.

i was worry with many things, friends, classmate, studies...
even traffic got into my nerves since a 40 min drive from my home to college turn out to be around 2 hours or more with traffic congestion along the whole highway.
class at 9am, start the journey at 6.30am to reach in time.
to say the truth, is not easy to maintain the same routine all the time like that, even i will be going crazy.
thus, we end up renting a master bedroom, just me and my sis, in a new condominium near the college that have a college facilities which is the bus service to and fro.
it was a new unit and the whole condo was only open to move in by May, so we have to endure the traffic till June only being available.
there is swimming pool, Gym, normal household facilities like fridge, water heater and so on.
comparing to the old hostel in the college which my friends stay in, they were force to walk 30min back to the hostel from hostel everyday. even if for me who is staying at a far away condo, by using bus, i do not need to walk that far and that long time to even reach back. i really respect them alot, it is also a healthy to keep fit since they have no choice but to walk that far, u should know that the whole college is too big to even walk from one end to another.
it feels like more then 20 or 30 times of my secondary school.size. i somehow felt aches in my kidney for no reason in walking that far once, i hope i would not go through again.

when class start, of course, the first day i was alone then.
we start by having lecture in a lecture hall, with 4 classes, SN14D,E,G,H.
by the way, i am SN14G class. ^_^
S=Science, N=November end our course, 14=2014 end our course, G is the class.

i met Alicia, and we just stay and met each other at that 1 hour lecture class.
she was E class, different from mine.
and to the next class, it was another lecture hall we need to go, and by then, i met her, Alfonsa Choo.
she was sitting with her roommate and both of them were from Sarawak.
i was glad to met someone from our class, and it seem after that, we have practical class only for individual class not like lectures.
i was with her, finding the road to the C block where our practical class is.
we found senior walking by and asking them, we had the wrong direction.
we can't blame them, the college was too big, even after months, other then the blocks where my class are, i don't even know the others since it was so much to even recognize and remember.

the class i expect it was in total silent, and we both sat at the last row.
the teacher was a newcomer which start working in TARC for the 3rd day.
his voice is soft and we cant hear since the last row is too hard for us to even listen, so we went laughing and chit chating along. and out of curiosity, i was surprised a girl i met at the lecture which caught my eye since she had a face that seems like she almost feel like crying, was sitting infront of me.
i was telling Alfonsa, let's make some friends. and i went doing something stupid, by suddenly rocking her chair from the back, she was frighten and look back, and we ask her, what was her name and she answer it was "Shu Jie".
she was older by us a year due to being exchange student a year to Switzerland.
she was cool, gone to Italy, England, Germany, France and some other Europe countries alone without her families.

we 3 went eat lunch together, and i felt glad to met ppl like them.
the next few days, i met Wei Hwei which we call her "wei wei" instead, and her new friend, Shermaine. i asked them to join in our group and who knows, now we are best buddies.
to say the truth, i never realize, i was the one the connect people together all along, to have us as a group, i am kinda glad. =3

but due to my personality, i am abit different from them.
they all are pretty daring, i am serious, and i am the shy type.
they dun mind being close to random guys, making fun of others(not a bad type, is more towards the funny way), it was fun having them around, but sometimes, it seems i dont fit in much.
they are open minded alot more than i do, touching guys for fun like nothing matters, making jokes or confessing for fun, wow, they are daring. of course people knew it was a joke, because this are what they always do.
i kinda envy them sometimes, for how they act without any worries, without any much thought.
just straight on what is going in their mind, i was happy to knew them, it was a new experience to me.
many things i never tried before came.

went out karaoke last min for an hour during break time to celebrate birthday and end up late for class, went to KLCC for fun after school with LRT together and spend our day playing in kiddies playground, staying over to Shermaine house with Shu jie to bake cake for wei wei birthday, playing Counter Strike online game at the nearby Cyber Center after school because we have nothing to do and end up murdering each other in games, force to fit 8 people in a 5 seat car, which make 6 ppl have to squeeze into a 3 seat place. XD
(well, i am skinny so end up sitting on me Shu jie's lap. haha)
many silly stuff in class, and the awesome thing among us is.
when there is food, snatch is the onl thing we do best. sharing food.
once we ask our sponsor, Tony which is a fake name Alfonsa name Dek Jun since his name was not easy to remember when we first met him, and since we call hime Tony though he say not to call him that.
back to the sentence, ask Tony to sponsor us eating Snowflakes(blended ice? something like that, snowflake is the brand name), that was great!
our canteen have Snowflakes, MarryBrown, RT bakery and random food stores.


other then Tony(dek jun), we gave our classmate mostly guys nickname like
Thomas(cheng yip), Tom(harry), Jerry(idk what is his real name still), Bobby(wai hong) and so on..

oh, and i even try hoping a new friend named Vicky to join in our gang, so it make a 6 of us together.
Me, Alfonsa, Shermaine, Shu jie, Wei wei, Vicky~ ^o^

there was once i was sad due to the result, wei wei was the smartest among us, then shu jie.
i was just around the borderline to maintain my scholarship.
but the rest of the 3 was not, so i try my best to help them get marks with wei wei and shu jie for them to pass and maintain their scholarship at average 60 with no fails.

i am kinda glad eventhough there are times when i felt lonely with them, since i am that silent i guess.
but i am grateful to them to have me around. =)

and i was also glad to have my old friends around me, supporting me for what i am feeling that time.
when i was sick, my bro Eric which is also my childhood friend was worried of my condition, cheering me up when i am taking the examination,
my dear Wenn giving me comfort when i was down and needing someone to cry and talk to after the examination,
my childhood friend, Chermaine who was also trying to cheer me up before the holiday and try inviting me to her friend bday party, although it end up i remain silent and awkward.. >_<
and also i miss my family alot when i start staying outside my home and had to live at school 5 days a week.

i start knowing that many things change.
just like in Mahsa i was often sad everyday, stress all the time.
sad of being used, lonely, ignored..
my only 2 friends, tzai fung stayed and continue her studies there.
Wei yi widraw after sem 1 examination, start working under her dad's company few months and now, she is taking business course i guess in Taylor Lakeside campus.

now, though studies become harder than expected, seriously harder than FIS, but life become interesting, many new things i get to knew of.
life isnt gonna change if we wanted to, is us who need to try turning it around with decision or adapting the way it is.
no matter what, i am sure it may be a tough road ahead of me, yup.
but who knows, i may not end up being a dentist, but something else unexpected?
but i knew i wont be a good doctor, there are too many to concern if i tried being one.

my sis join beauty pageant in the year, i do hope she won something.
i always miss my friends, wenn yuki mia pei yi and so on..
but when every friend is in different oathways now, it seems it is really hard to meet up often.
even now, my sem break, i am just sleep eat and read novels or spend most of the time watching korean drama.
the master's sun, good doctor, i hear your voice, shark,i also feel like watching 'no breathing' movie with 2 main actors i knew of.

no life.. seriously.. manga also read... end up never study.. =3=
anyway, i think i am mostly done with talking abt what gone through these times.
maybe..
and those who really took effort in reading this loooong post, i do respect and am really grateful to you,
THANK YOU.
arigatou.
kamsahamida?
XD

hope to see myself active in blog. and will end here then.
ttfn. ^w^

2013, life when i turned 18

     Its been long since the last time i ever update this blog. 1 year plus if not mistaken. not to mention, i am not much active in facebook, twitter, or even phone messages was not much in used often. Yet, i still hope even so, i still can get to meet and stay in contact with the friends i knew that their existence meant a lot to me.. though we don't often brag much to each others, or even talk always, but when i remember those 5 years in school, it was so fast, in a glimpse, everyone is now moving forward towards different paths that lead to various different kind of future.. and including myself here, i learnt that somehow friends are really not easy to find. whenever i had them, we were glad to be together, but when separated, i realized that the people i thought i could live on even if they weren't by my side, is actually so important to me.
     I stepped into the university life this Jan, and in the start, is just orientation with activities like breaking the ice and so on.. it last for a week, but not 7 days, just around 5 days total right before the day class started. I was late, due to traffic congestion, and also not to say, 9am is a bad timing to go big city areas, and i was needed to attend the orientation on time. skipping the traffics, i rushed into the class stated on the list of orientation programs and it was a very big class eventually. i walked to the back and sit alone. it was just briefing so it was not so important that i missed it. i ask a girl in front of me, as i am the only one sitting in the last row, asking her did i miss anything. she looks quite to me, and then i ask her name, she replied "wei yi" and asked mine. and after we kept silent as our conversation turned to an end. few minutes later, a girl stepped into the class, it was obvious enough she was late, and she sat the row behind me. i smiled at her. =) we never talked.
After briefing ends, we had to arrange chair to the back, and it was more then hundreds of it.. o_o and one hand holding bag, it was like i missed my old pal, yuki who often lift a hand on carrying chairs for others. and then the girl who was late help a little, and i started asking her name, it's 'yu hua'. is always needed to do for the first step to make a friend. i tried my best, doing things i don't usually does. and i realize, i had an ex-schoolmate same class as me, and i thought it was my imagination seeing him on the talk during the registration day. we don't know much of each other, and i knew him because he was in the first class in school, and i was second. and his name was always being heard from a fren of mine, yue wey that she always find him in his class about studies. he appear before me, and i was surprise he was in the same class. but, we didn't talk much, just greetings.
     we were put into 6 groups, not decided by ourselves, and i turned out to be in a group with one of the girl i knew, yu hua. and so, the group have 3 chinese girl, me, yu hua, and a "tzai fung". there is people from Foundation In Science(FIS) like me, and also people aiming for diploma in physiotherapy, medical imaging, nursing, dental laboratory, pharmacy and etc... and i was friends with the 2 girls. =)
     After that, we had lunch. i saw wei yi alone and invite her to the friends i met just that day. and the orientation week was not so worst. but when the presentation come, i never took part of any. the other 2 they join singing. me and wei yi never joined in, but i don't know why we don't talk much. Yu hua was a very cheerful girl, and she always lighted the spirit of others. but one thing about her i realize, is that she was too socialize, and she never came to a specific group. she will tend to join others sometime and might tend to forget others. she was a nice girl, and so it was not easy to find her cause she was always with different people.
     the rest of us 3, will take lunch together. starting i thought they were okay towards me. maybe i got my hopes up a little. they both stay in hostel, so we went for a mini "tour" to their rooms. the hostel there was not so good in condition, but staying there have the good and bad side from it. they escaped from jam, but stuck with the cafeteria's food almost everyday. i cannot bear, even just eating lunch there every time made me feel unappetizing actually. and it wasn't very cheap to start of for the price. Still can recalled that when i was in school back then, me and my friends never stepped into the canteen to buy food, even if we do, is either twice a year is the maximum amount we do. or even none. we stayed in class, chit-chatting and not to say, spend our time together in a group.
     when go to university, classes end till evening. and mine was 9am till 5pm. so it was total need to not skip lunch,since we do not have any breaks among the classes other then lunch time stated in the timetable. even though classes start at 9, i had to wake up at 5.45am every morning to get ready to class. around 6.45am after my brothers leave for school, and dad leave for work, i had to get ready starting my journey facing the traffic jams. i cannot believe having myself stuck for around 2hours in a 30 minutes trip to my university. when i reached school, is either 8.30am like that. and when going back home, is worst then ever. i had tried stuck in traffic adding up pouring heavy rains for 3 hours plus. and when got back, my dad ask where we went to, the time taken is able to make a trip from our house to our neighbouring country, Singapore.
    My class for foundation in science consist 5 subject in semester 1 and 2. there are Biology, Chemistry, Physic, Maths and MUET(Malaysia University English Test). and for semester 3, is not so important compare to the previous 2 semester. It have 4 subject that is different, Psychology  IT and Malaysian studies with Moral subject is just for Malaysian student. Our GPA 60% goes to exam, 40% goes to assessment per subject. 40% include practical, quiz, test and so on.. sounds easy, but is not easy as it take to me. total practical marks was 10% or 20%, but the total amount of practical is around 10 per semester, depend on subject, there is also 13 per sem, 1 practical total mark is 20 mark. and practical reports need to be all correct and done to get full 20 marks in just a SINGLE 1 practical. not to mention there is others waiting behind, and adding up together to get the marks turned into max 20% in GPA, if i got full marks in 1 practical, will it made my marks in GPA just merely 1.xxx% in it when i got a FULL 20 marks? i'm gonna go crazy. there is 5 subject! not to mention quiz for every subject is a must, and is almost every week we got quiz per subject. so if 5 subject the same, everyday quiz/test in class.. even though is just 30mins for quiz, it seems so little of time, and it have to done to get marks.. - -" Maths was like Add maths, only plus more extra, so some people say is hard.. but is just not so good, not so bad to me, make me miss add maths.. MUET was the worst subject i had, is english, but not easy to me. i admit my english is not that good, and for MUET placing exam, i just got a 67% for just reading and a paragraph of writing. not to mention listening and speaking part, i am dead meat. even essays don't seem easy to me, i think my english standard degraded  after had to study it. i am just not so good at it. =(
     so i skip parts, and go to the friend part. after starting FIS class, i realize the friend i know are somehow different from what i thought of. maybe is my problem? wei yi, yu hua and tzai fung usually went out together even if their different class, and i just keep silent when the other 2 talk things like their planing. (yu hua is not FIS) I felt somehow awkward in a sense which i do not know what the planing is, cause they never invite me to go, but it seems like they think i should know and talk in front of me. i just smiled and listen, i never made up comments much. they have plans after class, and i was being fetched by my sister. so i had to wait. and when the times comes for their planing to go "Burgar Lab" and eat with Yu hua with her friends, they only ask me, 'u got go or not?'. and i was like, i couldn't cause they never mention to me earlier, and so it made me forced a smile saying i cannot cause i really dunno about the plans they made. Is okay, i think, i could go home earlier, since i am not staying hostel, going back will be very heavy jam.
so it came to grouping then, 2 person in one, and i knew our group was just 3 person. so i asked them how, there isn't an answer being replied. when the teacher asked us to write our names, wei yi wrote hers on a group, and tell one of us, 'don't leave me alone ar, if not i will kill u two'.. and ended up we need to decide who is giving up. i wanted to be a group with wei yi, i suggesting taking turns, but it seems tzai fung wasn't very much please to it. so in the end, i give up, i wrote my name first in a new group, and personally write her name with wei yi. because she said to me, "you never stay in hostel, after anything needed, how to find you?". i was like, is not me who doesn't want to stay, my parents let me be in that Uni because for not staying in the hostel if not she would just let me go to the indonesia or where ever is cheap for dentistry courses. i know the other two is stay in hostel and meet up often, but how can she give me a reason like that? as if blaming me for not staying in hostel is not suitable to be in a group with her. i'm fine, and i don't want to argue. i don't dare to write my name with wei yi even though i'm holding the pen first. i knew give and take is important, so let it be.
     and when it comes to studies, i cannot depend on others much. I am not smart at all, needing someone to guide whenever i face a problem seems normal to me. i always was grateful to my friend, Pei Yi who always help out the question i ask her. She was a top student, and she was a very kind and helpful person. but not seeing often in my class. i try my best helping them when they are in need, and when i ask, it was different thing. they either tell me never heard this part, or is tell me is just follow what the books written. and had no choice. i felt they sometime take advantage which i let them copy my answer, i help them with question, i don't get mad at them, i let them be cause i try my best to be friends. that time was before chinese new year, and i was kinda depressed about this matter. i knew it wasn't much problem to others, but i started to dislike going to that uni, imagining staying with them, for the next few years.. and being treated like they ignore my existence.
     during the new years, i got contact from my darling wenn, dear yuki, and my friends.. after all the depression from classes, i really really missed them. it was sad cannot make it to see wenn after so long, ans of course, the main reason i use this blog and write this post is also because of her. =) bet she knew that.
It was fun when yuki came visit me on the new year, i had to clean my messy room for that noon when the lion dance will be held in my house. and is rubbish all over.. haha.. and she willing to be my cleaner free of charge. ^_^ we spent most of the time cleaning my room, very funny. my sister cross by and say why am i so bad, ask friend to help me clean? i answer, she willing to do it.. yuki hor? XP
that is what i call friend, no matter what, u don't care, even still, they still be friend and accept u..
    before class started, my mum ask me to wear a necklace like my sis. is a pink crystal that can help in relation with others as it was being said by them. and i start wearing it then. but in a way, it does help. the monday which classes start, i was being quite glad that day. i knew a new student who is elder then me by 2 years from tarc a levels is science who aim being a doctor. it was kinda good which made our group to be an even number so no one will be left out. i think things change a little.. but just a little.
    i still get abandon by them 3 once in practical lab. but still okay, maybe is my problem for being a person others usually got forgotten in a side. they still have their habit, my answer, question and so.. but i'm still trying to look positive, hoping we will be in good condition. everyone is not perfect so am i, i also have flaws and i couldn't ask others to be perfect when i aren't one.
    so friends issue is like that, and it was well.. not sure good or not. and studies issue was worst. went through 3 subject quiz, not very easy, not too hard.. not easy get marks. - -" and there is so many left to go through. sad life. everyday need study, but i cannot find the time i am willing to do so. even updating this post takes hours for me to type it all out, and i'm not even willing to use that time to study.. our FIS have no textbook, haiz..
    anyway, i may not update this blog often. and i do get alot of spam in my chatbox. so if really so need reply, just write the comment under the blog, not so convenient, but at least i'm not treating one as a spam. i see my friends all have nice college life, unlike me. study, lunch, study, traffic jam, home, sleep, wake, repeat. no time to spent, few hours also waste in traffic jams. = ="
Malaysia traffic should make some improvement, not to even mention, there isn't any parking lot in my uni. it is a very lousy design from the architect who made this. seriously the worst design, building in a very busy highway with traffic jams, and there is no parking. lousy.
     SPM result is almost coming, oh god.. hope it will be alright.. >_<"
     btw, the post title saying i'm 18, but i never had birthday cake, or many present.. T^T
so sad year, is 18 u know. don't seem like a birthday to me. sad. haiz.

so thanks for reading this long post. ttfn. (^o^)/

happy CNY yea~~!!

it's new year... and d dp currently using nw is the first day of new year last year 2011...
and now, its so damn fast time flies...!!
many things may happen this year, last year, n such.. but it doesn't change the fact that i am still me, and there are my family and friends..
this year may be the last year for everything, mayb not everything, and yet i hope that things won't change when years passed in the future..
and therefore, form 5, i hope everything will go smoothly, and may wishes do come true.. =)
hope i will get angpau(red packet) more abit dis year!! ><"
now b4 CNY got 3 edi.. hehe.. =P
including our one and only history teacher whom gave us angpau to our whole class student!!
dam gud... thanks so much..!! =w=

n i think even chinese new year may be bored for me this year lik last year or so, but the best experience i have dis year, is to shop for clothes and such.. =D
i shop for so long, and buy hell lot of things with my sis!!
dammit, n i was nt a shopping freak, now it makes me one.. ><
cuz my mum oni hv me buy 2 set of new clothes.....
and i hv a red n black stripe top at the thailand fair for 25 if nt wrong.. quite cheap la, i know... =)
then ltr on i buy a dress that originally cost 120 at jusco.. red checkers clothes... i know abit not so fit for d high cost, but it juz so nice.. ><" and after discount, still cost at liz 80.... =/
and den i guess my mum oso lik duwan buy for me la...

and so, mainly is cause me help my fren, shen teng order new year snacks.. n nvr thought dat it will b so ma fan...
after st.john club last Friday, my sis ask me to get rdy to teman her go out with her to time square.. and i was lik why, is bcuz her fren will pass d snacks from seremban over there.. and i was lik how r we suppose to go there, my mum 100% will not fetch us!!
and den i juz get rdy, n mum was furious bcuz my sis laz min tell her..
and we juz tell her we go to d nearest lrt station, in bukit jalil...
still far from puchong actually.. =(
anyway, went there, she was scolding lik hell, n i juz zip my mouth, n she scold me for helpin my fren buy... haiz... hw i know will so ma fan leh??
ended up scolding and samo nid to think a way ourselves to get there!

go there, see map, and sit lrt lor... buy token, the whole day hell lucky man, go and come back me and my sis DON"T KNOW how to see the lrt, juz saw train come den jump inside lik crazy, never thought we just jump the correct train, hell yeah!
and when i sit on the train and see d map, i only realize we reli dam shitty lucky, if not we're gonna b dead meat going in d wrong track..
and the monorail one was dam lot of ppl, reli so damn full, and after shopping, damn lot of bags nid to whole, untill my hand pain untill today.. serious! my spinal oso.. ><

1st, tek my frens punya snack, i cn tell u, damn heavy to take it.. almost lik 1kg plus lik dat... = =" no lying.. n we nid to expect ourself holding dat for d WHOLE day.. =/
lucky my sis so gud help me take it after i pass to her, cause i lik cnt stand the weight..

2nd, go shop for shirt... the 1st store we go got sales and we bought 8 clothes!! and bought 2 for mum... even if she scold us..
3rd, go to another clothes shop and bought 2 clothes and 1 short trousers~~ mine is d red checker top shirt... haha...
4th, shoe, and my sis bought d knee length black high heel boots!! original cost 120 to 150... and it was on sale there..
5th, shop around... and i bought 20 pair or earrings!!! some i give my sis, since the train ticket she pay for me.. =3
6th, we bought belt for each of us and it was d big type kind of belt... those we see in shop dat cn cost more den 25-50++... and was on sale too... =P me buy lil crytal around de, a bit plain but simple is nice.. my sis buy one is many BIG crystal in d center, and was lik bling bling!! =P
7th, went another clothes store and i bought 2 shirt again!! one of it is a plain black t-shirt, but nice cutting and quality, so i dun mind if is black only, simple is nice.. =D
8th, shop for shoe(mine).. and i aim for non-high heel.. den walk d whole place, one another, and in d end, the first place is d best, and i have to brain test my memory to REWIND my mind where we go from d last place to d first.. Damn big d place, leg oso pain... haha.. and bought a pair of sneakers, cn even saw some i lik bt cnt afford lik playboy brand cost 120++... =( but nvm, n my size don't have when i wanted to buy a pair of knee length brown boots.. but nvm, since knee length boots oso duno what occasion can use to wear??

and i even see the coolest shop ever!! is lik a scary house, sell those gothic stuff or wadeva, my sis say lik anime short or s/thin... damn COOL!!
but d aura is kinda scary inside, dark and creepy, oni thing dat was not there is a scary bgm if nt i oso duno how they get customer, but their shirt and mask n shoe freakin COOL!!!!!!!
love the shoe, but price like hell.. = =" 100++.. damn nice dat high heel!!
and d shirt, juz top oni oso cost 120++, wth??

ok, i even hv to say, malaysia gv foreigner new version of coins, but the ticket machine for d lrt cannot accept new version, wtf??
and they were line up in front of us, they took so long, n when we offer help, she gv me see her coin which always failed to accept by that stupid machine, and cause i din see b4 the new version, and it was at night, so i juz assume n told her is not malaysia coin..
ended up she let me see it is written there "MALAYSIA" n i was lik, lol when my sis told me is d new version.. and even d back ppl help exchange coins lik my sis.. and we oni notice a small unnoticeable note abt cnt accept new coins yet, WTF!
do u expect a foreigner to know which is d NEW version n which is d OLD?? and we have to line up with SOOOOOO many ppl.....!! go in d train oso run for it, simply jump and get d correct one after few station, and den no place to sit.. so damn many stuff mar... =P

ok, and ltr on bought similar high heel(more lik slipper with heels to me) at tesco with my sis n mum.. original cost 40.. =/ well, it hv sale, so neh... me black, sis n mum white.. =)
2 bro one was 27 for each..
dad oso 25 lik dat... juz shoe for whole family oso cost untill....... =/

many things, lik morning got some food la, chicken, pork, fish, prawn, vege, soup, etc....
ended up rlei cnt fin.. ><
cuz no kampung(hometown) to go back to, so juz us 6.. haha....

anyway, Happy Chinese New Year!!
the dragon year~~
hope wishes come true....!!
n i hope my SPM dis year can get more A's!! =D

my birthday, i'm 17... which is... i hv grown old... =/

today was my 17th bday..
many things wanted t do dis 2012...
SPM, school, driving lesson, and everythin i cnt dis very second dat is s/hw important too...
i lik to update more things, but i always wrote n save to drafts, ended up, lol, delete or leave it...
that is me... =)

ok, i gotta thx all my fren hu come for my bday..
wenn, yuki, mia, keh yen, pei yi, pei yun, shir jin, angeline and yue wey~~!! thank you so much u guys, n ur present... =)



and they sang karaoke in my hse, which is oldies or audio only song.. and well, ltr hv relative's wedding to attend, eat gud food... =P
thanks to those ppl n frenz hu wished me in fb or sms...

sms, thx le ming for being d first hu send me at 12 midnite... and there was cindy as my second, and cullyn after durin 12 midnite!! thanks u guys, love u all... muacks..!
and oso other in late nite sms me lik wenn n fisshy... =D arigatou...

me now form 5 d... (wow, i understand my english is goin to fail now, damn lot of grammer prob...) oh well, dead meat since teachers are so much headache from me, thinkin of era teacher being changed and skul teacher....... haizz.... y cn't student choose? =(

anyway, i hope spm will b gud dis year, and evithin will b fine, and always healthy... and happy always... =D

thank you for those ppl hu care for me... i appreciate much.. =D thx my family, for today..
thanks to them, with all my life, to hv me to b here...^^

and lazly, tomolo skul, damn sien... hu cares?? O_O gonna die anyway?? i even forget wad hw do i hv.. >< ok, chit chat over... next time i'm gonna post my present den... except for mia's and wenn's... haha... =D

and den, thx for readin, after those crappy days i din update.. lol.. i dun even noe anyone is readin dis?? =D
ttfn!

fin exam, fin skul, yet life still goes on..

it's been long time since i last update... hehe.. i noe i'm bein a bad 'parent' to u, my blog!
so, i today will b so kind to update a lil here.. which is, i ended my final term exam, and skul is goin to end in another 5 days or so.. which i juz nid to go oni in d laz day, so oni left one day to me..
BUT, even after exam, i dun feel anythin left away from me.. lik ntg chg, still d same.. nno different from exam-ing or not.. ><"
and even skul is goin to end, i duno should i b hapi anot? dat is a shockin  news to me.. =(
and those text book dat is borrowed from government, i purposely took out history and add-math out and return them money, since i guess next year those form 4 student is using bm in text buk, if gv bek den u cnt buy anymore in shop or whateva.. = ="
anyway, juz to say, life is non stoppin, which suck! i think i'm getting older, which ntg chg.. =/ and time run so fast... and tuition oso non-stop to me, 1 week 5days go tuition, irritate wif dat timetable! so i guess no skul still got tuition, so no different lik gt or no hols to me...
goin to kota kinabalu trip dis month, yea is juz within d same  country, n i dun wan to noe will i be climbin dat freakin highest mountain in Malaysia dat day! hope there won't be.. next year is trip to china, duno got tell them b4 anot.. =) bt ntg special, i wan to go Rome one day in d future at lest once in my life... >< my dream!! (i guess)
samo got wad to say?? dis term exam all oso leaked question, haha.. all depend on them..
many thin happen dis few months, bt i think i was too lazy to update anymore, n i kinda neglected my dear blog since den.. haizz...
ok, end post here, lazy to update.. i juz update for fun.. =D shortest post in here(or not)
kay den, thx for readin dis nonsense here.. =) ttfn..

i cried.........for my sis & solving for relationship

 today, well, actually i wanted start nonsense lik i had abandon my blog loooong time n such, bt juz wan to share some things dat r important today.. which is my sister..  well, dun misunderstand anythin, is juz she had her prob n when she told me, gt affected.. and some relationship matter dat gt 3 main steps dat need to hv..(quite below)

i knew her relationship wif her bf was goin down the slope, i was wonderin is she gonna let go? i once taught dat her bf was caring for her, he was okay to me, since my sis hv her bad habits, and he compromised wif it. i think he was a gud guy. but, life isn't juz so normal n nice, and his parents din nt agreed towards their relationship.. it was normal thin for cases lik dis, since he was actually takin up a-levels and goin up to his father's expectation to tek over his family clinic and b a doctor. it was lik u  cn c a bright future when my sis will b wif him next time.. but den parents disagree upon their relationship, n he got pressure by them. he was standin in d middle among my sis side n his parents side. he doesn't noe hw to choose, where to go. and he use solution to ran away from pressure and stress by playing online games.

my sis told me, he den started to play hours in d start, bt gradually he had eager to play more and had tried many time playing over d midnite n missed class next day, while my sis, she had been with him, goin to the cyber cafe n still go to class even she's tired. she say he look stressful n she agreed to let him play, bt nvr tot untill dis extent. and den when his results were out, he got a straight B in d paper. i think it was ok, better den average result, bt to his family, he had dis-improved. his family had scolded his till 3AM in mornin and had blame for havin relationship durin college years. he slowly had try to distance himself by sayin less meetin my sis up n to nt let his family so mad.

but she cried when she said, the last time they met, is after 2 months of not meeting each other. and he turn so cold n less tok on phone. he went to pubs and nite clubs wif his frens while he had forgotten his promise to my sis that he will never go there without my sis.. he told her dat she sould nt go cuz is very dangerous n if go oso nid to hv him there, so same for him, but he forgot, and went out almoz evitime. he start to change and he seldom tok to my sis, and when she called, he juz say he's busy.. and when he called, he juz gv sweet toks lik ntg happen.. to my opinion, is lik he was findin pleasure on my sis, hapi den find her, nt hapi den dun bother.

my sis say she was reli sad, and she cried tellin me, he told her he cnt gv her anythin, he doesn't hv enuf efforts to protect her, so he say he willin to let go and let her b juz his fren, to let other guy hv chance to b wif her, to tek his place to gv her a shoulder to lean on. he was lik tokin so sincerely lik as if he was d one hus cnt b wif my sis, but he loved her so much to let her go and find others for her hapiness, and hope for her to b hapi. he say mayb nw, we.. should gv us some space, being frens, and mayb one day, one day when we study abroad in UK, and nt havin any other problem, no parents objection, and den mayb we could meet up in there n be together, wif no worries..
my sis tell me as if he was thinkin so much solution for the two of them bt she couldn't help. she ask him cn we tek the problem and share together, overcome together, face them together? bt he din not reply her a single word. she asked him alot of them, he juz keep silent on d subject..

at first, i blif my sis bf was sincere, great n nice.. but when i hear over wad she said, was it true he really does dat for my sis? or juz to let him get away from his parent's pressure on him.. leavin him free from d stressed he hv from my sis gv? should i blif a guy lik him when he was always askin my sis to let go of him? i duno, cuz i am nt the two of them, i am juz a listener, and i noe, my sis couldn't let go.

she say she cn't! she drop tears and was cryin as if he was reli a reliable person and her true love. she couldn't let go, and she was thinkin he was tryin his best to save their relationship from his parents. she say he was reli confusin her, sometime sayin we b frenz, and den in d bek say somethin dat he reli love her, and she duno wad to do.. he met her in times square mall yesterday after 2months nt meetin each other up, my sis say at first it was normal n okay, ntg reli bad happen, they got smiles n laughter, watch movie.. but den when they r at starbuck, he cum up wif d topic, sayin juz b frenz, n my sis was so mad, dat she tried to cool herself down n ask him to stop tokin down.. but he did nt, he told her why when he wanted her to speak up, she refused, and when he does nt, she did.. and my sis kept silent, did not want to continue wif d topic, and they ltr act ntg happen. and after while walkin, he tell me sis wad she wan to do nw abt the relationship nw? and my sis answer, will u even listen to me? he answer maybe, i can try, i will try if u duwan to b frenz..
my sis tell him, den can u hold my hand? he answer, if u wan, u cn go on and hold mine, bt i cnt go and hold urs.
(do u understand d meanin? when i heard dis, i was reli feelin sad for my sis... is lik my sis wanted only, bt he couldn't mek d step, bt if my sis wan, she cn mek it herself, bt he cnt.. )
and my sis did nt, she juz wok around n den he grabbed her hand n say, dun go simply wok around, 4-years old.. and my sis were unhapi n tell him dun grab her hand lik dat..
he den suddenly ask her, u be my girlfren ok? my sis were hapi den.. but he den continue, but nt nw... and she were sad.. den he say, u b my wife cn anot? n my sis juz smile at him, nvr say anythin.. cuz he den say dat, but not dis time..

he once told my sis, he cn find a better guy, so lets juz b frenz.. we cnt handle being together, and den he told her, if i had fin my studies and handle evithin, till den i will surely go n find u.. i will den ask u to marry me, and i will buy u rings u like and a hse together. bt ltr on, he gv my sis a call and tell her she plan to mek a new gf, he say he was juz playin, d one he luv was my sis.. he say his parents think he is wif dat new gf, and one day, his parents will tek their dislik towards my sis to dat girl and den he cn b wif my sis again.. my sis say he say as if it was a hope in it, n she listen n ltr she was sad, she ask him hw was it wif her bt she did nt mention anythin.. he say lets b bez bez fren, we will juz act lik normal lik a lovers but without a title.. juz bez fren.. and my sis din nt agreed, n he told her wads so important wif the title?? the feelin is more important.. and he oso say b4 he wanted to b a muslim so he cn marry 4 wives and my sis ask, why? and he say, ntg, bt i oni love u only, n she ask den why marry 4? he say d other 3 is juz playing oni, d oni person he lik is my sis..

i told her, wad is she goin to plan for? and she juz doesn't wan to gv up on d relationship she had.. she say she wanted to try changin wad he think.. he say he wasn't lik dat, he was lik tryin his bez to save their relationship, doin his best for them.. she was cryin lik he was her life.. and i was feelin reli sad lookin at her.. eventho i dun c her more den 2 days in 1 week, bt she is truly my sis... n i cared for her too..

i see her cried and i tell her, is he wroth for my sis to act lik dis? is he worth for my sis to cry for him lik dat? does he worth for makin my sis to hurt and he juz push the responsibility to my parents.. is he worth for havin to b wif my sis?
n i cried when i say i will surely not agree to see my own sister to be wif a person hu isn't worth for and mek u hurt lik dis evitime lik she was cryin for him for the rest of the life.
i told her, your life is yours! not use to gv to another guy u love n trusted on.. you cn live alone, wok alone in ur own life without anyone, bcuz you are you, and dis is your life, nt his..!
i say, is correct dat u should appreciate wad u had, and him to b ur bf.. BUT, if he is so easily given up and let go, he IS NOT someone u should appreciate to, bcuz he isn't worth for in d start den..
i told her, u oni think straight, but nt all.. anythin cn happen, nt juz wad u see, bt u think.. why dun u think of ur future? i blif u think till d end he is gud till nw, he still tryin to save ur relationship.. bt why dun u think if he is not, he is juz tired of this? he was lyin, playin, makin fun of u wantin u to let go? n u juz luk lik a dog followin him along where he go, and he was hapi, he will hug u, when he was nt, he will nt even care to luk u in d eyes..
why cn he so easily gv up if he is sincere? why he wanted u to let go till d end? she told me is bcuz he is easy influenced.. and i told her, den he isn't worth for! before marriage and he cn ended up being influenced till dis extent, will he b able to not gt influenced in d future? can u garantee dat he will nt be after u marry him, and wad cn u see? he will gt influenced and end ur marriage? wad abt ur child? do u think for them??
she say she wanted him to b lik dis, n he wanted her to b lik dat.. and she say she was changin, bt i told her, personalities is very hard to change... why? is nt bcuz of it is your personality, is bcuz of one's thinkin.. if u juz think one way, den u would nt think other bt the way u think of and ended up showin emotion.. dat's y, some ppl tend to hv short tempered, bcuz they usually hv a straight thinkin dat the other party is criticizing them and they tend to show emotion dat is even without their control and even they try to hide it..
in d opp of short-tempered ppl, they will juz either by thinkin ignorin n nt listenin, or juz obediently keep their mouth shut n listen..
but if they cn think further, and more pathway in mind, u cn think of listenin, den did nt show temper, and recall, tryin to change oneself, thinkin if i had change, wad will happen, and things will gt better.. =) u cn even smile n tend to nt show more emotion in reality and facts by lil problem u face.. dun think straight, bt evi1 does dat in their first reaction.. is normal, bcuz thinkin tek time.. haha.. so ppl tend to say me thinkin too much, my sis say dat, my fren say that, it cnt b good n bad, bcuz i kept heavy emotion to myself in heart, so sometime i oso envy ppl cn do wad they think first, n i juz show out normal emotion lik mad n such, bt when it cums to heavy type, is either i keep, if nt i will mayb gt minor stroke when it "burst" out.. so i dun tend to show out wad i reli care most, bcuz when it hurt, i will gt emotion affected n makin me suffer in dat case.. sad but true, no one understand my pain... but time will slowly wipes memories off, i am tryin dat.. so we must stay strong willed, no one can chg you, but u urself cn.. dat's y i tend givin a step backwards to other specially my family to nt let any quarrel happen, by nt speakin up wad i wanted, n accept d fact n thins,  to juz hv a better endin.. bcuz i will think of "if i do, den it will ended up lik..." and i will go for d other better solution...

and den continue, i told her, love is surely important, but if u dun hv a title, is is worth it? will u imagine hw ppl will think of u when u and him walkin together and he hv a titled gf, n u were juz a "bez fren".. wad will ppl say u are? and den when in d future, dun tell me he is gonna say he love you only, and without a title? if he have a titled wife, and u are juz a lover dat u 2 hv mutual feelins, wad will others think? u are the third party, u r d person hu break their family.. hw will ur child think if u hv? their parents is nt official couple, juz an outsider? wad will ur child do and grew up upon? is he worth for u doin dat, by say he "love" you?! what the hell??

and den i told her, an important and TRUE relationship, nid 3 main step.. no, actually juz dis 3, untill u marriage and old, is very important to maintain it...

Step 1: ACCEPT the other party.
Step 2: UNDERSTAND each other
Step 3: FILL up the what the other party lack of

it means to start a relationship, u have to accept each other.. the oter party's gud and bad side.. dun care if she is blind, deaf, dumb, lack a finger, and whatever in appearance.. or maybe personalities, attitude, liking, EVERYTHING u must accept, den oni u 2 are sincerely in a TRUE relationship and hw u start!! if u dun hv step 1, u wouldn't hv stay long or u juz dun lik her.. = ="

den, if u accept, means u hv to understand each other.. u noe wad each other thinks, wad u lik, u do, ur fav things, what u hate most, and understand each other.. understanding is reli important, if u do not, u will surely break up in relationship in short! and argue always, and sayin u dun understand me, n d other say d other as well.. understand is reli hard, u duno wad the other think, bt if u try, u can, is possible..

is not u can or cannot, is u want or not!

and d end, is step 3, the most most most important and hardest... nt evi1 is possible to do dis.. bcuz nt evi1 is willing to change.. =/ do u understand wad it means? is to be the what each other lacks.. most ppl after marriage MUST have dis bcuz, if u dun, u will always ended up quarrel..
for example, is dat is one is very short-tempered.. wad she lack of is to hav a step backwards n to compromised.. so den, d other will b wad she lack, and he will compromise her and try to cheer her up.. and things will get better..
if two does not hv dis step, they will ended up quarrel each other n nt makin any compromise, and marriage will nt end long... =/
dis is oso d main reason why ppl tend to divorce, they mostly dun have Step 3! understand? very important, so try it n make a difference!


and d last, i oso told her, u cried as if he was evithin, while he does nt luk worth it to me.. if he is, juz let him be.. and juz let go first, mayb after 3 years u gv each other space, mayb after dat, u will think back n mek a better different thinkin to b wif him again or not.. does he reli sincerely love u all dis time u left? will he turn bek after all those time.. and when he hv found another, he cn oso see him wif a better mind n nt being so emotional upon d relationship u hv, n u cn hv a better one..

the world does nt juz hv oni him one guy, and he oso dun hv juz one girl in his world too.. so he cn find another, u oso deserve too.. =) and till den, eventho mayb it teks time to find, but surely u will..
i tell her, will u blif, there will be a fated person among  the billions of ppl in the earth, and u will nt noe hu it is, where dat person were, bt if u live on and mayb one day, u will surely meet each other, eventho it tek years mayb, but if dat is fated, den he will treat u best.. mayb dat's wad we were live on for? to meet dat person in our life, dat one and only person no matter hw long it takes to encounter, no matter near or far, no matter we r juz stranger, u will noe it when it cum..
mayb is juz my dream, but i blif, dis is my thinkin.

i told her, if u wan to marry a person, is not because you love him, is because he love you.. =]
a person hu cn accept u, understand u and b the one u lack of, dis is surely juz one word to me, TRUE LOVE...
and den, i blif dat will b ur fated person, n i hope if anyone of u meet wif a person lik dis, try accept him for hu he is, bcuz he sincerly lik u, and surely u will love him..(unlez ur heart is mek of stone, dat is exception)
and dats y i say, marry a person dat love you, nt because d reason dat u love him.. =)
(i dun mean u dun luv him ar, pls understand d meanin k?).

btw, dis is all my personal opinion on things, i may nt gone thru a relationship wif a guy b4, but pls dun b rude if u dun agree upon, n i'm sori if it does nt go wif ur diff thinkin...  bt i appreciate on u readin dis.. ty.

therefore, i end my long post today, i hope dis post will b shared to other n let ppl noe dat we live for ourself.. dun think dat person is evithin, dun sacrifice urself to juz bcuz u lose him, if he was so easy to lose, den he isn;t worth for ur love in d start! =]

thx for readin, ttfn.. <3 -Felicia Gan...

dear blog, hw r u?

well, i hope u're fine.. cuz i had abadon u again.. =/ for few months.. =D

wow... din in my blog.. actually i hv no comment edi.. hope i forgot evithin i wan to say.. many thin happen.. lalala... short mar..

and well, juz cn say dat time i wan to share my experience on driving in highway without license.. woot... damn freakin awesome.. u will nvr noe on d way bek from airport, so many lane is free for u.. =D almoz wan to hit a lorry... ok, kiddin, i dun drive so freakin bad ok? tho i'm 16, i had my basic's basic drivin lesson personally form my parents since 14 lorh.. =D so i drive in highway 50% nt at risk, 50% die together.. =) bt well, i survive.. so i pass.. juz dun let police c den ok! bt so damn cool, do u gt dat feelin? u should try, underage drivin.. haha.. juz jokin, dont do it without ur parents agreed upon it..

anyway, many thin i skip, mayb ltr i tok? duno, lik d skul hols my cousin from singapore cum to malaysia.. fun trip where we go kl tower, putrajaya, batu caves, genting or ioi mall? lol.. anyway, actually i din tok much, bt today i wan to share is s/thin i am hapi abt.. hehehehehe.....

u noe wad cn mek me happy?? one of them, MONEY! =D well, dun think dat i am lik c money den go hug them ok? i mean even money dun buy my life.. = =" ok, wad am i sayin?? i mean, i dun dream lik lovin money untill marry a rich dude which i dun lik ok? i mean i will lik money in a way, well, my parents always say i am gud at doin business.. bt too bad, i dun tek risk.. i would wan a job wif high pay, dat is wad my lovin money are!! hahahahaa... i think wenn noe edi geh.. enen.. bcuz dat income is MINE... =) n is earn by me, nt from s/body.. bt if my husband is rich den i oso np geh, still i wan myself rich first, nt depend on other ppl.. = =" lik a beggar oni, ask for money from ppl.. since i nid support my familt finance n my bros education fee.. haizz... cn study oso gud.. too bad i am lazy..

anyway, share s.thin which i am happy abt is... i got my PAY!! ok, i dun "earn" bt i "won"? duno.. bt well, my mid-term exam gt 8A3B include sport n civic, n oso dun care "+" or"-".. and my mum actually agree givin me 100 for each A.. untill she heard have 8, den hahaha... =/
still, ytd, FINALLY, she reli kept her promise after so long, nt lik my dad.. and she oso bought some clothes she bought in jusco, i think gt offer.. =) reli hapi ytd.. and we went out for dinner and guess wad.. FIRST time i PAY THE BILL for a family dinner.. =) wif one of d 50/500... hahahaha... so is gud to remember n write here.. well, yet, my fon was spilled wif water n went misty on d screen, hu noe it will b dead in a sec.. haiz.. i should hv reli tek care nicely n nt put my damn freakin bottle in my bag.. =( well, time dun turn bek, we only left regret.. so wad nw, wait for spm n all i wan is a laptop!! =D yup.. muz study hard..... bt lazy.. =(

kay den, sori blog, i left u alone.. bt tryin my bez to repay u..(i guess)
thx for readin den.. ttfn.. =)

all dis time...

(dun forget to read d post b4!! juz continue from there)
after d comp, it is wed, 20 April... so juz continue d long lost post...
wed(20/4)- ntg special, is juz wenn no cum... sad... n den er.. ntg... zzz.. juz noe dat mum gt ask wenn dat i am gonna stay awhile at their hse on fri after skul..=)

thurs(21/4)- i reli duno wad happen dis day... zzz... no tuition, mayb playin com for all d day? - -"

fri(22/4)- ntg special in skul, st john stay bek, d teache change edi... bcum coperal Tan... a girl... =) n teach us some transport.. lik hw to lift ppl in first aid...
den ltr skul go wenn hse, wen to d room, so gud she cn listen to music player juz bside d bed.. nice.. haha... =) n den i read my manga.. lol.. wenn's mum cook congee... damn nice to eat!! wif fish n spring onion, ginger i add on wiff soy souce n codfish oil? anyway, it was NICE!! n thanks wenn for evrything!! muacks~~!! =3 haha.... she ate ginger from my bowl oso.. i try to eat bt well, i dun reli lik eatin eat.. i gt try lar... =P n den mum cum n fetch, thx her.. n her mum.. =D

sat(23/4)- dun rmb... wth happen anyway? - -" gt skul anot ar?? if gt means juz lil ppl go, whole day playin badminton untill hand oso pain.. haha.. very fun lar... =D play wif wenn, a lil wif mia, wenn oso vs mia.. haha.. wenn is better den me lor... =S haha.. anyway, is 1/4 of d ppl in class, all form 4 to 1 class, n den ltr physic teacher was lik, aiyo, laz time better, half of d class cn teach, nw cnt... =( dat day was a fun day.. =)

sun(24/4)- duno, i noe gt go ioi mall n eat sushi king! yummy... eat unagi set... bt d udon kind chg edi.. o_O and den end up nt reli satisfyin by my sis... lol.. anyway, ntg special.... =(

mon(25/4)- gt stay bek lor.. engish teacher say we start our oral teast, n i am set to b in d second day, means d 5 name og guy was on wed class, n me was one of d 5 girls name to b in fri to present.. arghh!!! n den stay bek for chess, shen teng gt tok wif us... n we start wif singin song.. =) n den in heart i was glad all my fren was reli gud enuf to tell me i sing well, eventho i think i am nt dat gud, yet i reli appreciate wad they done.. thank you.. specially to wenn, thank you in no matter when u still say i am gud, even u came n say dat i should join d competition.. u said dat u will support me, wif pei yi n others.. u said i am ok, n u guys reli made me touched when u say u even go to payin d fees to join in... eventho i wanted to go for all ur support, bt i am reli scared, no courage.. n i noe i cnt do reli well, yet, i thank you.. still, u gt chg a lil of my mind to try, yet no courage to go for it.. haha... =) n another was yue wey was, well, i think i say dis personally is better.. = =" i think pei wen understand wad i mean rite? i told u b4, duwan say here... d oni thin i cn say is, urghhhhhhh!!! to her... =)

tues(26/4)- tuesday i rmb gt bio extra class, n never tot dat teacher duwan edi.. say cancel..!! n we all was lik arghh!!! =( n i went to wenn hse, gt no electricity for a lil short while oso.. lol.. boro her fon call mum, she n sis was in tesco... wenn's mum even say, y my mum go tesco nvr brin me de.. lol.. i oso wan to noe.. =( den mum cum, call me to go to brian class to put a bread n oren juice for him.. n den i was lik duwan, bt end up cnt rufuse... den went in, d classroom no ppl juz oni bag.. seem lik d class went to lab.. so i duno where was his bag, secretly go to his class n made a round.. i round 2 time cnt find.. n den i duno wad to do n made a round n see again, n when i saw 1, i open d bag to comfirm, luk lik a thief...  = =" n comfirm is his buk n pencilbox, so means its his place, n tear on of a piece of paper n wrote a lil note for him.. den ltr off n go to tesco again for them.. they b4 bought sis laptop charger n pendrive cost moe den 200 total.. = =" den ltr go shoppin... ntg special n bla bla... tuition bm, my fren kar yen tell me she will nt b cumin next week cuz she go korea, so good.. =)

web(27/4)- oral test for guys!! n some say they haven prepre end up to next day, n den 1 of d guy was lik, went out n his hand was shakin so hard from tremblin n d paper he hold oso was shakin... lik wind blowin.. lol.. n end up next day...

thurs(28/4)- rehearsal for sat anugerah thigy... so gt pmr 5A at liz sure nid go... well, so nid to practice... den go stage tek prize, d person was pn dewi... n was lik, i stand bek d line, dun gv me, on d line, cnt, muz 1cm away... = =" den i nid bow to her 2 times... zzz... = =" n den she scold, say what? "thank u" i replied n go away.... zzz... den english, i try to rmb my oral test essay, the ways to reduce pollution.. =) n den d laz chia wen is d laz person, i am gonna b first in next week.. arghh!! =( cheng ying oral was funny... wad the importance to go to skul.. untill he suddenly say conclusion is, n teacher say, huh? so faz conclusion edi ar, wif a blur face.. n den call him continue, n he juz say "we must go to skul" end.. dat is d conclusion.. LOL! n song yang was abt dance, n den chia wen was "smile".. =)

fri(29/4)- st.john... stay bek, ntg much, leran d transport thin, den gt bring d thin... o_O anyway, juz skip... lol... zzz..  n oso d rehearsal for d anugerah thingy...

Sat(30/4)- anugerah day... mornin 7am go, so damn early... 8am start which is listed, never tot untill 9.30am oni start!! dammit, d big shot so damn not punctual!! >=( waste time man! n den gt free men n water.. oso noe den yuen yen hv iphone 4! bt i dun prefer to buy iphone myself.. bt my dad hv, i noe hw to use, i even d/l programs n thigy for him... bt i see yuen yen very lil thin oni... =/ i guess she duno, so i tell her hw.. bt nid internet, dat time in skul dun hv.. =/
den go for take money oni... b4 start, we all was forced to line up edi... damn stupid... den d person hu say d name oso pronouns name so damn weird.. lik malay person wan to purposely tok chinese untill so damn funny... tuk d thin n den oni me gt no sticker... =/ i noe is juz a trivial thin.. lol.. gt money den ok edi... haha.... fin den tuk some foto wif my fren n such... n den ltr oso gt boro yuki's manga, so ltr go bek home... =)

Sun(1/5)- whole day com.. n den at night, found a novel dat is reli interestin.... =D n den din folo mum they all to go out n eat.. they went bek home wif KFC for me n brian... they all go eat gud food their self.. nvm... due to next day is a labour day holiday, no skul.. n i was reli into d novel... bt when i on d chp, it increasin d number n hv me scroll down, from 1 to 10, den till 50, den 150, den 200, den 280, 350, 400, 430...... 400chp+++++!!!! damn lot!!! O_O still 1 chp tuk abt 10-20 min to fin.. quite long... see gt explain alot anot... d story was nice.... n after read, i found myself think nt oni d authur was gud on makin story, descrimin wif easy n nice chinese, some nt lar, n wif some old chinese tokin, proverb n such.. i felt i was lucky i learn chinese... nice! =) first time i ever felt chinese oso cn b nice.... LOL! n u noe wad, i read from 12am till NEXT DAY 10AM!!! without ANY SLEEP!! mwahahaha... total oni 44chp i read fin.. n den 10am oso din sleep, went n eat breakfaz... geng lieh! =)

Mon(2/5)- labour day holiday today, nt d date, is well, bcuz 1/5 on sun, so mon bcum d hols.. so i use dis time to read d novel.. end up readin from afternoon till nite 11pm.. untill 75chp++... =) next day den skul... aww... =(

Tues(3/5)- oral test! n i request teacher cn i 1 to 1... n end up teacher say cn.. lucky i ask, n dat's y other oso folo 1 to 1... =) oni girls ooni... mornin auntie dat fetch us oso change another one.. n den jeremy was so slow lik usual n let d auntie gv him a lecture n tell him he cnt lik dat... n in our skul, we oso mornin doom to go n listen to a projecter screen for duno wad rules n regulation or wadeva... zz...n ppl lik pei yi, yuen yen n such oso gt oral test dat day... n ppl say gt ppl poz pic on anugerah.. zz... = ="

wed(4/5)- mum late fetch me from skul.... i think she forgot to fetch me... zzz.... she think i am 1.45!! =(  n tuition for dis day was funny... physic lik usual was askin question... den ltr he tell us abt computer... evi1 usin com is gud or bad... den nw laz time those dota or warcraft game is edi popular, bt he n his fren lik to play guli... = =' n den ltr he say laz time ask hobby will answer lik swimmin, dancin, stamps collection, wadeva.. nw is fb, com n such... damn funny when he gv d example wif action... n oso we cnt use com long cuz we will get a bone sicknez, i duno wad name is it edi, bt bcuz oni use wrist, n end up will hv dat sicknez... lol... next time oni say wif his example on hw ppl use com.. =)

thurs(5/5)- wenn n yuki, wif mia oral test... =) mia went out d class n speak.. den chee liang was askin me abt his oral, n his was abt "success". bt duno y he pronouns untill very funny... haha.... =D n when he go out n tok, he was tremblin a lil... lol... if me i reli cnt say... i scared... haha..n start readin lil sej... n den wok bek home, duno mum y so long.. i stay in d old hse n wait for lik 1 hour... i sat on d florr, din go in d hse, n den outside n tuk my sej n see... all d thin was chp2... i was nid to read till chp 5 bt ended up i haven read.. i was regrettin y dun read earlier... den i read till night bt too damn tired n slept...

FRI(6/5)- i skip chp 3, n den woke up late, n i rush to gt rdy, n read fazly chp 4... den lil 5 in skul.. laz min wif chp 3.. no time.. den ltr test... zzz.... i cn see jun git wrote soooooo many paper... duno wad d hell he wrote... all was paper... n chia wen n me was shocked... i oni use 1 piece of paper, word small so cramp lil... n den i fin 1hr earlier... =/ so ntg to do... den ltr recess, juz biscuit n drink... n well, i wanted to tok wif other n study a lil together.. bt evi1 was busy... pei yi wif pei yun wif shir jin in front... tokin.. n wenn was wif angeline, i guess i would nt wan to bother much abt them... ltr disturb their discussion anyway... so i dun mind, i juz luk at my sej buk, cuz i rather they tok to me den i disturb them... bcuz i dun mind, juz scared i disturb ppl... so dat's y i was alone readin there in d corner near d bek door... n den jun git cross over, n he suddenly sit down n say, le's study together, since mayb he wan me to ask him question so he cn rmb d thin in d buk... so i duno where to ask, cuz well, i duno... n den i ask chia wen to join in n den yan jun oso join in himself... den jun git start tokin, bt mozly i knew... he mozly tell chia wen n yan jun.. so i'm ok, jun listen.. n chia wen reli cham, gt hit on face by jun git n oso for misunderstandin "cukai" as "zhu gai", means from d "tax" to "pig cover"... n we all was havin a great laugh dat time, i was glad they chat wif me n study together.. n oso jun git's teachin... =) rather more noise den silent s/time.. =) thx them... evitime exam, from form 1, i think my fren will b a lil distance from me, mayb my name was so far away which made a lil distance... =( haiz... i hate name so front... still rmb d first term, i dun even noe should i even go to them.. yuki told me abt wad they think n say me lik wad oni... dun even understand wad i think n made a conclusion for me.. i say b4 in post, long long story, duwan to tok much... so i better stay quiet b4 again n dis time i scared i will lose my temper... so they decide wan to tok anot.. i dun mind anyway, for d past 4 years always my name made me so distance away, is normal nw, better den ntg.. i was juz fortunate dis time bside me was jun git n fisshy, if nt my 4 years will b reli reli doomed... laz time always left alone wif d malays... =( bt nvm, haiz... i dun mind... =/ i duwan again hv a fight... better i stay quiet, u choose.. dat is y i will rather choose a quiet book which is better den sulkin to wait for ntg happen.. = =" so i guess dun made conclusion on me when u duno wad i am thinkin...
and d night for tuition, is damn f stupid man! d first time i ever seen such a damn crazy person hu made me reli felt lik kick n slap him for all!! =( [guess i hv no time, will write next time]

extra- these days b4.. angeline was always sayin y am i sad, while in fact, serious, i am not.. = =" i was reli surprised since when i was sad? n dat time i was lik wad? n she even say break up wif boyfren ar? n i was lik, no way, i dun even hv a relationship to start wif, hw end up wif a break up which i dun even hv one? o_O n den she samo say when opp, she say gt bf liao ar? n i was lik, no lar.. n i ereli cnt get her joke, seriously.. n s/time she come n meet us durin lunch, she oso say i am bad mood.. n wenn oso say she think i am.. i duno y, i feel lik mayb my face got prob... ppl always misunderstand... =( when i am dis, they think dat.. n when i din even pretend on wadeva, den think i am sad dis time.... =/ seriously, i juz was lik, thinkin dat hw cn i be sad? which part? n recall did anythin happen made me sad? end up untill i duno oso cn express out.. bt ntg.. =/ weird.. zzz... bt juz thinkin lik dat, still, thanks them for caring for me... i reli thank them... n oso durin d first week after d comp n some time ltr, thank mia for carin oso... specially d askin on calc.. thx... =) dat time is reli sad lar, thx... bt thx my carin fren, wenn, angeline n mia for those time... =) glad to noe u guys...

sat(7/5)- gt skul, reli borin, oni 4 girl go, n ltr yuki go bek, oni left me, wenn n pei yi... reli borin... den gt attend bio class.. juz dat oni tokin oni, i mean juz discussion.. no exercise.. den at home, computer... den ltr when read manga, suddenly electricity off... went out, 2 bro playin n made mum angry.. mum mad at jeremy, n i rmb dat dat time they hv dinner in jeremy skul thingy, end up din go... lol.. dad go visit granma.. n call my bro to kneel down in front of d prayer god... jeremy din go to d 300 dinner which 3 ppl attend... waste money... n d electricity is off purposely by mum cuz jeremy duwan go down when mum call him.... made us oso gt involve, went outside d hse, she say go out, den gt rdy den she lock d door, went out n tok wif other, dad cum bek, we jump into his care for air con... = =" and den we go out for dinner, n they was takin whole lot of time to hv a dish to cum out... celebrate mum's day... eat a feast n den go bek.. =)

Sun(8/5)- today lor...mornin den bein wake from dad he wan boro 300.. bt i sure will wan to add interest whenever anyone wan boro.. lol.. so den, mum bror dad... we early mornin go airport... went n send dad to his work trip to japan for 10 days wif his boss... n den we went eat breakfaz in secret recipe.. oni me n sis wif mum go... n den i call fish n chip, sis is lasagna, n den we call a pepsi, mineral water, mum cal cappuccino, n den a choc cake of cuz... lik heaven, nice to eat...! n den gt saw a car tag very funny.. "nice to see, nice to follow, once u hit it, consider sold!".. LOL!!! damn nice la wei! hahahaha.... mum was lik, very nice.. bt din buy, went eat... cum bek home, com, i start posting post in blog since 11am.. n den see other ppl blog... nw oni cn end...which skip some.. so den, evenin cook a dish, n den eat dinner n end... happy mother;s day!

kay, thx for readin my long post! thank you! hope my test n if u hv too, EXAM GAMBATTE!! FIGHTING!! PLUS OIL!! JYJY!! break a leg! gud luck! JIA YOU!! =) ttfn.... <33

BLACK n WHITE.. CHECKMATE!!

nid to update dis.. seriously, i left dis for a damn long time.. so juz theme poz nw.. haha.. b4 was d memorial wan.. dun 4gt to read if haven.. haha....
nw, lets start wif d date was 18 April n 19th April was d 2 big day of chez comp in SEAFIELD skul.. i reli forgot wad reli happen, bt juz update la.. 18 was monday, n went to skul lik usual.. go to skul, tok wif angeline.. den ltr awhile, when mia cum, go to bukstore n gather.. pass d form up, still rmb early mornin mia called me, i gt brin my fon to skul, n sat in front of d clazroom n tok wif angeline, den she called n i juz tuk it out n pik up to answer.. haha.. n she say was lucky i told her to brin to form.. lol.. anyway, go there, i noe dat gt ppl folo van n some folo cik teh.. n well, me n mia n other 2 girl actually folo cik tek, nvr tot dat ltr me n mia was told to sqeeze in d van, end up we nt sit on a sit, is on er.... i duno was is dat call, arghhh!! is juz no place to sit, force to sit in s/where which is nt a sittin.. n i was lik wan to fall edi, so scared will bump on ppl.. n sufferin... =( n finally reached.. to say d truth, i dun reli hv any cloz fren in chez comp ppl.. juz mia i noe better wif, bt oh well, she is more socialize, so of cuz evi1 she tok to.. haha.. n s/time i juz wonder around to c if i cn find s/thin to do when i was alone.. =) bt for sure ntg.. so juz stand there... in d start reli is borin.. n den went out to d fiend sit n they started to play chess... n pei syan tok to me askin me abt sony ericsson thin.. her fon was diff, cnt put themes.. O_O bt she lend my fon n tuk song... =) den start purin lil rain, cramp into d buildin... saw d place for competition was full of tables n in looooong row... damn long n many.. o_O n d name list edi wrote which i was in black same goes for mia.. =) n mellissa from 5A claz n Alicia from 4A was bside me, juz as white.. d rules of it was white brin d chess set into d competiotion, den no bags nor phone allowed.. bring pen n fill in d paper, evry move made tick d box n den sign n put in details.. winner will went up to pass up d form, if draw den 2 go together to pass up incase for any unfairness...
and so ltr our game start, went in n as a black side, me n mia hv to juz brin pen n bottle if wan.. i b4 brin my bag, end up ltr nid put outside.. so den sat down. my first experience in as one of a school representative for chez comp.. reli is many many many ppl? =O n den my compatitor was a malay, n we tok a lil.. lik where skul from n such.. n den tok a lil wif mia n alicia.. n melissa compatitor juz sit right bside me n between me n mia.. lik a wall between us.. bcuz she was juz in d right side of me, i tok a lil wif her, she said she was from shah alam or wadeva, is a private skul since her uniform was diff.. o_O n she say she was s/hw lik sayin she was nt reli gud n den she was d oni girl represent for her skul wif another 3 boy.. our skul gt er.... 15++ ppl? 8 girls n more den 7 guy? i forgot.. me, mia, alicia, melissa, pei syan, another 3 form 3 girls if nt wrong, guy lik cason, clement, eugene, liang kar wai, song yang, n alot i forgt d name....... =( dat's y... duno hw many ppl edi.. nvm dat...  bt d skul was once told reli nice, bt i think after goin there, is juz okok oni, ntg special.. =( bside d canteen?
1st round- after shakin hand, den game start.. wad i rmb was evi1 noe d "4 step" anyway, so for sure she made dat step of cuz, bt i nt so stupid lar.. den move here n there, she was always "check" me here n there, n i made my plan for havin my rook to d white pawn lane, n so, her king was trap in his lane while she was so busy "check"-ing my king wif her precious queen, n neglect my moves made for her, all she can see is my king runnin away from her beast queen, n my underling rook went secretly to ASSASSINATE her king!! u noe, means straight away DIE!!!! mwahaha, 2 rook to "CHECKMATE", n she try to move, bt no move.. den game end... =)
den ltr went outside, bt mia haven fin.. so i was well, wait her anyway.. din expect she reli tuk long on d game.. bt i was ok, it;s juz takin time to wait for her, so cn go together wif her to d canteen, since is better to go together.. n time passed, n den mia cum out, n she said she loz to d girl... den we all go canteen, n many thin i guess... n i saw waffles!! <33 RM2 for waffles... n den when alicia buy corn, oso there, ask her to help me order 1 too.. =) is lik they bake freshly n den add chocolate toping on it.. damn nice... =) n den mia ate noodle, very less... cn compare to my stingy skul canteen food.. so damn lil.. n den pei syan was eatin n eatin... she told us she ate dis n dat n dis.. o_O cnt judge a buk by it's cover.. =) den ltr eat untill time wan to up, n mia was wantin to eat samo, bt no time, den i cnt reli hv time to eat fin my waffles, n mia went eatin d half of it.. lol.. anyway, went bek n check on d second list they r gonna print out.. n nw it;s me n mia's turn to b white n melissa n alicia turn to b black.. went in wif a box of chess, den saw my competitor... tok a lil, same skul as d girl in my 1st round.. =/
2nd round- i cn tell u, dis person kinda sly a lil... - -" too damn unexpected.. she put out her kinght, rook or bishop to let me eat without any defense for them, is lik a free food in front of my eyes.. o_O n den for sure i will tuk it for granted of cuz.. - -" no trap.. n den end up she checkmate.. = =" wth?!?!?!? i was lik, wad happen?! all of a damn sudden.. all i cn was stunt in my mind, smile at her when she shake my hand n den all i can was praised her.. n end game, LOSE....
den ltr wait n wait, duwan to tok much, den ltr 3rd round..
3rd round i was white, bt den i forgot dis round, d oni thin i oso end up LOSING.... = =" why there r hell lot of great player.. bt alicia n melissa win 2 in dat day.. all i cn do was acting lik bein pissed off by d marks i had... bcuz i noe, mayb i should think of mia.. bt dat time, i was edi sulkin alot...
and den go bek to skul, croz over d skul buildin n saw yuki wif angeline cross over us wokin in d street, den go into d skul buildin, ltr den gt chess club n spbt club, so nid stay bek till 5.30pm.. n den i saw pei wen, so first thin i wanted to find her, well, is lucky... bt i duno y, i think she in bad mood i guess... dat time.. so i dun dare to tok much.. =) n den spbt club dat time, after write our attendance, pei wen went wif angeline to duno where, bag place.. n den i was alone in d club room, so i oso went to c them, n met yuki outside oso.. den ltr wenn oso gt there, i noe dat time i kinda hv a pissed face, bt seriously..... haiz... i did nt reli blame any1, is juz i felt down dat time in heart, bt i guez no1 hv d time to spare out to understand wad i wan to express.. evi1 was lik dat monday hv a bad day n gt bad mood, so i oso duwan disturb them... i juz ask abt d h/w, n den it was lik, stiff conversation.. neither wenn or yuki was available, n well, i noe i muz nt b so selfish to hear my stupid rantin.. n den i noe i ask a stupid question from my head, my mind was thinkin so damn much thing n ended up speakin out one of d word, bt i guess i should nt ask or hv any1 answer.. n all i cn do was smile, n while havin a pissed face for wad i was reli sulkin from.. when they duno go where, i was wantin to find mia while i duno where she went, my mind dat time was blank.. reli, is full or thought.. n all i cn do was juz ntg else bt to find s/1 to b reli understandin enuf to listen a lil word i would lik to say n hv them givin n answer dat made my thinkin to fade.. i noe i oso hv bad time, lik i oso duwan ppl to tok to me, so i did nt mind if yuki n wenn was nt in a mood to b.. so i understand.. bt dat time i reli cnt see anythin other den findin a place.. n den i ran onto angeline n i ask did she saw mia, n she answer no, den i tell her, "i think my tears r gonna fall", n smile at her.. she hold onto my hand, ask me wad happen, she said she cnt see from my face, bt when she hear my voice, my voice sound lik tremblin, which does nt reli fit for my expression... =) n i luk at her, my eyes were gonna fill up wif those tear which made my vision blurry... i luk up to keep bek my tears dat time.. reli hard... all i cn hear was angeline ask me, n den i saw mia in d classroom, so i guez mayb she will lik usual pissed to cheer up.. bt i din expect she was sobbin too, n my tear juz fall.. i noe i am childish, bt i din disturb her, i noe if i tek myself compare to her, mayb i dun deserve to cry oso.. so i juz cheer her up, bt i noe is no use in d start, so i juz wipe my tears away.. n smile to cheer her up.. when yuki come, i tell her to gv mia some space.. bcuz i personally oso wan some.. so she juz stood there n stare.. n wenn well, sit in d side read novel, i gues wenn think she cnt understand wad we feel, so oso went in a side n read.. =) bt i noe, they were worried, n thx them.. am i tokin big? i hope they are, if nt i paiseh for sayin dis.. bcuz we r fren, dat's y i mayb wish dat is lik dat.. ^^ n ltr mia finally cooled down n say abt cason n cullyn thingy.. bt they reli din c ppl situation.. o_O
den ltr chez comp, go to d other claz, den sat bside of cullyn, den ltr wenn n angeline came.. den mia suddenly cross over n scold to cullyn abt her brother cason, "wad is d problem wif ur brother", n cullyn ltr went out n find her bro.. den ltr we chat sometime, i duno wad, i kinda forgot a lil, bcuz my mind was reli messed up wif feelin.. go bek den is tuition, i noe is borin lik usual.. n ltr went bek home around 10.30pm, mum ask me abt i cried in skul, wif another fren cuz of d chess, i think my bro tell mum.. my bro dat time gt croz over, he recess so i ask him to buy for me wedges.. n den he come bek wif 2 bags.. thanks to him.. cheer me up from eatin.. =) n den go bek dat time mum gt giv me a bottle of apple juice wif aloe-vera bits.. mayb dat time i think food reli cn let out stress a lil.. o_O n i noe mum tell me no use cryin, she say wan blame muz blame d skul, y d skul choose those ppl hu is stupid on it n let them go.. den i ask her, so mean u say i am stupid? , den she replied, no, u are juz... "nt gud at it" in dis... lol...

2nd DAY, chez comp continue.. mia actually tot nt cumin today, bt still she came.. =) n den dis time, we gt to hv a proper sittin in d van.. =D and den we went for d game.. b4 dat day, i went check on net b4 on d way on chess, n kinda find steps lik 4-step, castling, checkmate step n such.. i noe i am a beginner.. lol... den b4 dat nite, call my dad to play wif me 1 round, n won.. n time till 11pm oni sleep.. so mornin on tuesday, went wif a new fresh air, eventho is nt gud result from ytd.. d 2 teacher today was cik teh n pn tan.. n den go as usual, wait for d time to start.. skip skip skip.. 1st round start n i was white dis time cuz 3rd round of mine was black, so it always black white black white.. so dis time gonna gt those tips from those "shifu" which is d pros from our skul.. haha..
1st round, went in wif chess set, went to d listed sit, n i put all d chess pieces on table.. n waited for a appearance of d competitor, bt untill d game start oso haven come.. bside me oso dun hv ppl, means they oso dun hv competitor too.. n i raise my hand bt they say untill 10 min ltr den oni count as i win, so ltr i won so randomly, WON.. without playin.. =P
ltr, i cross over mia n i cheer her too.. n den went bek n cross over melissa n alicia hu sat bside each other, both black n i cheer for them too.. i went out early so ntg to do, gt see some of us, lik clement oso tuk win for random too..
2nd round- dis time i sat in d end... n den my competitor was frenly.. den we chat sometime.. den never thought dat ltr our list gt problem, nid to change again, wait a while n went out n see, den again is juz sittin, bt i still hv d same competitor.. end up playin.. i was white, gave my move.. if there is a title for dat, i would say "THE BEST CHESS MOVES EVER"... u noe y, my move were all damn nice.. all my big "general" lik bishop, rook, kinght n queen went all out to d KING!! n all of them hv a backup to eat bek them.. =D n den yet, my king was left alone in a lane, bt for sure she cnt checkmate me.. cuz even if her queen which is possible to go there, my king still hv move.. den ltr din tot dat untill she reli cnt gt out of her situation, she reli tuk n eat my general, n my damn nice plan was RUINED!!! doom... n i hv no mood.. she was always askin me to draw, wan draw.. i always answer her ltr, see first, den ltr untill dat move, i hv a feelin dat i nid tek long to kill her king, bt in an outsider view, cn c she was at stake.. so i was no mood to think, so i juz took her bait, DRAW!! 1/2 mark.. =)
after cumin out, i din c mia, i noe she cross over very fast, go out very early.. she won cuz her other party did nt arrive.. WON for her.. =) n den cason ask me hw, i say draw, n he say he saw my chess set, very pretty, i think he nvr tot dat i will draw rather den win.. =) i understand.. haha.. den ltr i saw alicia, i ask her where was mia, it seem she went off to d canteen edi.. well, cn guess anyway, din expect much.. so i juz wait in d waitin spot wif alicia tokin.. was reli borin.. i din reli wan to eat first, bt i tot goin wif mia, bt since she had went wif others, i think is better nt.. so wait for d 3rd round, n d list was out..
3rd round- dis time, pressure.. i was white.. n den my competitor was d oni CHINESE among my competitor.. so she was from USJ skul.. n den we start n well.. cn see she use well wif her bishop n queen.. n ended up i did nt notice wif her damn queen... i actually gt bekup, din tot i let it go... = =" stupid.. so LOSE!!! ARGHH!!!
sulkin started... =( i oso again saw mia go out ealy, AGAIN no ppl arrive n gt a WIN... n den she oso went to canteen... i wan to find her dis time, so i ask alicia, n song yang ask me, so we go to canteen together n find them.. mia was wif her frenz, so after knowin both marks, i went off... dis time oso dun hv mood plus again, nvr eat... kinda sulk for gettin lose, n den tok a lil wif melissa... no1 to eat wif me, damn sien.. so juz chat... n den ltr mia cum bek, n she play her psp while we r waitin for d next list.. dis time is d last round, while d guy still left 2 round.. cuz girl gt 7 round while 8 rounds for guy.. 3 round on first day.. =)
i rmb i tok to 1 of d competitor sayin, b4 i gt play wif 1 of d competitor, i accidentally touch d pieces n ended up is bad.. cuz my queen will b eaten.. n i let go n she say CANNOT.. damn f.... SMILING to me lik ntg happen.. i was beggin her i duno, serious, juz dis time, accidentally touch oso cnt. n i end up to move, i was angry n pissed in heart, bt outside i was lik, oo.. kay, smile.. =) n denlucky dat time she din eat my damn crappy QUEEN!! still LOSE dat time... shit! dat time lar, i think is second round dat time.. zzz... den mia oso let me a lil of her hakuoki game geh voice of a character.. lol...
n den ltr was d laz round, i reli in a bad mood... dun feel lik goin.. n den mia say, she first thin dat is goin to do is, sit down, Look at the person eyes, n ask 1 question.. "you wan to draw anot?".. n i was lik, impossible lar.. n mia say she will do lik dat, call me too.. n den ltr start, i was reli nervous.. gt 2.5 marks oni.. =( well, is nt easy.. n den start d round..
LAST round- sit down n saw d competitor.. set nicely d chess piece? n den we chat a lil.. n den she ask me i form wad, i answer form 4, n she say same.. tok some sc subject... n den game start, salam 2 times.. means shake 2 times hand cuz of d ppl hu use d mic duno wad they tok crap.. n den ltr i ask her when she say she was noob n such.. n i ask wan to draw? i am ok wif it.. n den she reply i wan to play first, she say she wan to try to win.. we play untill d step she think she was on danger, n oh well, she took d draw bait.. after so long i pursue her.. anyway, she was lik ltr fin, we both total hv 3 marks... i noe i was reli distracted when i was planin in my brian, she ask me add mt n such.. all those study subject juz come in d conversation.. LOL... is chess comp bt topic was studies! bt DRAW, 1/2 mark
corz over mia, surprise after she say she was gonna ask draw yet she was playin.. n den ltr gud luk to her, n i wait for time to pass... i tok some time wif melissa n her form 5 life.. surprise she hv 4A gt in d class... =) pure sc oni hv 1 class.. wow.. after time flies, girls comp was over, oni guy left another round.. n den i waited for mia they all to cum out... when mia fin, was hapi for her to win a round there.. =) n ltr finally cn go canteen.. went eatin WAFFLES again!! =D n den well, a lil to mia oso.. n ended up she buy herself oso.. n den ltr went buy drink, n she called me to offer her a drink.. n oh well, i buy 2 drink n 1 drink buy for her lik she asked for.. since is juz once, she does nt ask much oso, so it's ok.. lol.. n den ltr go bek, oni left me, mia n alicia, all other girls folo pn tan cars go bek edi... o_O
so ltr after guy fin, finally cn go bek!! bt is to skul.. actually pn tan offer to fetch us home, bt cuz my hse is diff edi.. n pei syan was once my sis bellet fren, she juz rmb tempua 3 place... den end up never folo.. den ltr go bek to skul, it was 2 or 3pm.. n i noe my mum wait long b4 n nt there anymore.. she scolded me.. n well, sad of cuz... she was in d fren hse actually buyin nonsense... = =" wad lava thingy which 1 cn anti-radiation, samo soup cost 200 dat cn made scar away or wadeva... n i wait for her at skul for some time.. = =" haizz...... tuition as usual, bm.. den end my lousy chess comp n day..
in d end, our skul highest is 5.5, girl highest was 4 which goes to melissa n me, alicia n mia gt 3 marks.. =) k den, juz lik dat... so den, end dis theme post.. =D thc for readin, ttfn.. =)

a day wif durian in memorial park..

[sori, juz din poz dis from draft.. edi write dat time.. next poz start from d chess day] =) so dun mistaken d date.. is 17 april dis poz..

hey! ok, juz wan to update nonsense.. where do i stop, let me see...... *checkin d laz past in blog*
kay, untill history.. i cn tell u after dat afternoon, ntg much reli came up, went usin com, den too bored, u noe, aimless in evithin nw, even d com i oso use lez den normal..? = =" it;s serious....... no manga updates nor anime.. dun feel lik watchin drama.. dun hv d energy to do anythin.. juz sit infront of d com, n juz surf youtube... zzz... waste time there.. duno y i duno when, few days bek, so aimlessly ntg to do, youtube-ING untill bcum listen to popular view K-pop... serious, no lie.. - -" i duno bt still, it;s weird! well, bt some is listen b4 de, juz nt reli interezted to noe much yet gt hear lar... nice den ok, lik dat... =) we 1 malaysia, me tryin 1 world... ok, kiddin..

go to d point.. is it sunday? i guez so... i forgot wad happen recently, bein confused wif days by chess! ok, left off wif sunday den.. mornin wake n go tuition.. Add mt subject, review d whole chp, so ntg much.. den bm ltr den cancel edi, so go bek early.. ltr dad late fetch me, bla bla...
went home, eat instant noodle, since they cook spegetti, dun lik.. blek.. =( bt my lil bro, tuk a bowl n another, more den 2 bowl he eaten.. serious... o_O bt still, does nt chg my thinkin to eat it anyway.. den ltr, send brian to tuition, his turn.. den we all, means me, sis, jeremy n dad went off to Nirwana memorial place.. my mum went there first, by fren's car i guez... - -" n den we are forced to go... i dun wan to, neither my sis.. they hv durian giveaway feast n my mum even invite my frenz parent.. i was lik, wad? i duwan to go, den she say nid.. = =" in d end, no1 go oso nid to go.. so, went there, was lik went b4, ntg much, juz ppl here n there... den saw mum, wif 2 aunts.. n their family.. 1 is auntie phang n another was auntie jasmine.. n well, cnt recognize auntie jasmine bt she noe us(we all).. bt we duno them.... - -" wad gud memories they hv, i dun rmb knowin them.. serious, n they say 3 years din meet edi... den ltr sit in a transport which is those type dat lik in golf court type of vehicle juz diff is cn hv more sit.. den we go to d christian place.. took some picture there, laz time oso tuk b4 d scenary.. den tuk my sis n lil bro, i dun tek myself.. =/ n den ltr go, den another place.. i duno where is it bt is buddhist one... bt nt d main one.. n den ltr pray a while, see around den ltr go c another place, all we went b4 wan.. den fin n we end our destination to d office.. den, we all wait, all so sien, n my sis tok wif me.. auntie phang went home, n auntie jasmine's children was so bored till they lay on d table, sleepin? n den me n sis chat n finally those adults were fin.. we all den go to eat durian.. n yea, i dun reli lik to eat durian actually, i mean i eat lar, bt........ not love to eat.. =/ so dat time i eat lil n pick lil bits from it n eat, n my sis will eat fin till see d seed, since she lik to eat durian.. me n jeremy is d same, other are all durian lover.. n den Uncle billy came, another relative i guess, n den we all wan to go bek to d car.. so auntie jasmine n her family, wif my mum go bek to our hse by their car.. dad n uncle billy finishin off d durian, we 3 went to d car... wait n wait den dad appear, evithin fin, den go bek.. on d way home, put some music on my fon via bluetooth d car's bluetooth, well, dad dun enjoy d song much.. mayb modern song? or mayb d speakers in mums car dun reli hv gud sound system.... n well, i dun reli care.. n went home, saw them, auntie jasmine n family... they hv a son n a daughter.. 2 oso younger den me.. den d boy noe brian, n was waitin for brian to cum bek from tuition.. den d girl was told by d parents dat she recently hv bad relation wif d parents.. n missed my mum? i duno wad, bt juz nvm... n den when brian went bek home, they ask brian remember d boy anot, n brian was lik, 'i duno"... he dun rmb till d end... n i oso dun rmb.. n den they say dat d boy luk so disappointed on his face.... n den d auntie say y we all dun rmb de, so bad hearted.. nt scold lar, in a sad mode.. n i answer we reli cnt rmb, easy forgotten, loss of memory.... still feel sori for them, i rlei dun rmb.. = =" n den they went bek, ntg special..aunt ltr come, den abt iphone thin, bla bla.. den ltr ntg much... sien.. i was lik, oo, den gt rdy n sleep... next day was chess!

aimless... dis is wad i am..

AIM.. wad a gud thin yet sometime is a dream.. impossible.. bt if there is no, is no end for ur normal life.. lik in a marathon, u will run w/out a destination... juz for ntg, juz to find an aim, d final destination.. if nt, u cn oni run untill u find it, or run till u end ur laz breath.. =(
when ppl are young, we use to dream.. mek impossible in our minds.. since we would nt hv enuf common sense.. lik bcum a scientist, doctor or astronuts.. bt when we live longer, all v noe, all we hv to do is to study hard for dat.. is nt an easy option to b one.. do u hv d potential? or it was juz sayin oni? cnt or cn? depend on d paper, wad grade u are.. study lik pile of mountain to get a piece of paper.. A? B?
Not evi1 cn do wad job that they lik, live to work, or do u work to live? but evi start from Noob.. yup, i agree.. yet, w/out d ethutiasm for it, will u? will u even hv d hapinez on doin it? is it tirin enuf? it juz luk lik a simple job, normal sulkin job juz to do for living.. to me.... is it an aim? many ppl's aim juz gone when they bcum adult.. many ppl lose their dreams, after dat.. juz live a normal life, work, eat n sleep..
i wish i would hv a dream.. an aim.. i was waitin for s/1 to cum out n tell me.. which cn gv me a hint i was capable in which path.. I, cnt decide.. i.. reli cnt.. =( i am too picky i guess.. nw all i wan was a dream, bt no1 was to cum tell me wad was it... no1 noe d future.. no1 knew except me, dis is wad usual ppl think.. bt i'm diff... =(
all i wan is a steady job, high incum, to help myself, n help my family, use those money to support my family.. support my brothers further studies.. eventho i noe they will lik, playin games n neglect their studies.. i duno nw, i wan an AIM nw.. do u hv any? do u reached urs? =)
when i c my frenz, they hv mayb aim i guez, or dreams.. bt me, i dun... =( i dun partically lik anythin.. i lik manga n stuff, bt i dun them as a job, is a hobby.. is in ART, n i dun reli wan to sacrifice my future for a hobby dat may juz laz worthwhile.. if i cn study science, i juz go for it.. bt ltr, hw am i gonna do? makin a path is hardwork.. =( haiz...
frenz which wanted to b psychologist.. i think is reli admirable.. cuz i noe d path for bein a doctor is hard.. =) n they hv aim lik dat.. or mayb seein a fren which hv potential in some thin in her future, it's reli admirable too.. well, mayb lik fisshy hu hv potential on design.. i mean lik doin in beauty salon.. facial such.. she reli hv knowledge on them... =) or mayb fren lik wenn which wan to b a psychologiz, evitime she say, i think is great to hv an aim.. even we cnt b sure for havin d confident goin down d path we once aim for, bt at liz, we dream b4.. =] at liz, went thinkin abt of.. eventho is out of our potential, bt at liz... lik my uncle say, aim for d star, yet eventho u cnt reach d star, eventually u still end up havin d moon.. =) i guess eventho is a gud words to encourage a person which well, cnt reli achieve his "star" he mention, which is 5A in SPM, bt mayb he cn b true.. bt still, no AIM.. wth.. haiz....... >_>" reli suck, when will i reli gt it?
arghh... i envy ppl hu hv potential on thins!! lik me, i dun hv.. terrible!! =( lik wenn hv potential on novel writin, damn gud.. fisshy was styling.. nice lar.. sis was, performance..! all dis ppl i noe which hv potential, reli reli reli... haiz.. too great jor.. =( d oni thin i think i am ok was draw.. yet, nt paint.. compare to mangaka, i still suck.. long time ago, usually we used to sing, n wenn, angeline, pei yi, cullyn, n other of them say i sing well, bt to me, i still suck compare to d winning singing champion sis i hv in my family.. i suck at dance oso, eventho i noe, i learn b4 hip hop or join dance club since i was 8 till 11.. i still suck.. n furthermore.. ppl around me juz hv talent for music.. n i was nt.. =( y am i such a lousy person... arghhhh!!!! frustrated.. no aim, uselez me...
i actually wanted to b a specialist surgeon.. yet, lez den 5 sec, i guess i cancel d thoughts.. cuz i think i'm afraid of blood, i dun think i am suitable enuf.. =( HAIZ!!!! any1 cn save me from dis uselez bin..? ><" rotten from uselessness.. =(

ok, nw crap tokin is over.. let's update wif d blog diary..
actually ntg much, juz lil den b4.. d poz b4 i think is d longez poz i EVER post in d blog... o_O wow, so many words, i myself read again oso.. haha.. i reli appreciate ppl hu read fin dat.. seriously!! =) thank you again..
thursday, ntg much, end skul, go to tesco.. den ltr go toilet, on d way, saw a trim cut, well d word say quick n my mum was kinda irritated wif my hair.. so push me along to it n cut.. cut shorter jor n layer it.. samo den ltr, go shoppin.. first thin i go buy stationary.. i wan to find a glue stick oso so hard.. = ='' all lousy brand...... arghh.. no choice so buy it.. buy a stack of examination paper.. for skul n tuition use.. a new mechanical pencil.. bt din use yet.. n correction tape refill, i duno where i throw d "body" for d refiller.. = =" suck.. and den samo er... =/ erm........... i haven mention dat they cut, nt reli reli gud.. well, d bez is still cut ownself.. bt d layer part still nid go salon lar... usually i go salon n cut.. =/ dis one cut untill, i duno hw to say, mayb i luk weird i guez... laz time i oso trim my hair myself.. n i rmb d next day fisshy is d first hu ask me did i cut my hair.. =) i was surprised... well, n i duno y i answer wrongly to her.. n ltr i juz forgot n try rmb it, n lucky i rmb wad she ask me juz nw.. cuz i tot se askin me another situation.. ><" lousy ear i hv.. haha... =D n den ar, nvr stay bek for d biology.. cuz, laz time go, oso meetin.. nw, they seem to hv change d day to tuesday.. so i guez mayb juz ok.. =/ wif 4A.. yet still, i dun feel lik goin oso.. my mum sure dun reli wan to fetch me.. n well, she meetin, no stay bek.. d thin i noe, it was well, we end at physic class ltr.. den it was a rocket competiotion which d rocket make out of bottle.. n well, is nice view in d 2nd floor... n our class even cheer so laod in there! haha.. bt too bad it's very late n v cnt c our claz present.. so is a gudbye, bt when cum out, mum nt there, duno where she is.. i noe wenn is kind enuf to stay bhind a while wif me.. i reli thanks her.. =) she reli is a kind fren.. n den ar.. den go tesco n such, i say edi.. ok, den no tuition, at home com a lil, sleep..
friday was normal, juz dat many thin is abt d mssd for chez competition.. goin to sefield skul next monday, d pressure!! =( u noe, lik goin to compete those pros in chez and i hv to b participatin for in d state comp of chess!! in seafield skul!! i never go there b4, nor even play gud at chess!! arghhh!!! =( d pressure, d tension... =( die in chezz pieces.. so scared nw after then, to hear a word................................... would u wan to noe wad is it?

friday gt pjk, went wear pjk for 2 days duno y.. and den add mt claz no electricity there.. wow.. n he call us to fin up our h/w, ltr gt d teacher orientation or s/thin.. duno.. den ltr no more.. and den, math was lik, omg, ,he call us go to d 2nd floor com room.. i duno wad name of d room is dat bt is com inside.. n he use projector.. reli, he dun nid so advance thin to teach those.. n well, juz copy den tok tok tok.. ntg much.. pjk was lik, wan play badminton bt no more racket.. so play skippin rope bt i duno hw to swing lik double dutch thingy.. so i pass it to ke xin n pei yi to do.. n d laz mia was slowly adaptin wif d 2 rope jumping.. i blif she cn mek it lil by lil.. =) n yuki was lik, woosh, swing so faz wif her hand n den jump jump jump lik walau.. cn even turn d rope when jump.. faz.. n me.... cnt.... =( sadly, i duno hw to jump, lol! juz skip skip den hop... end, tired.. after skul, den ltr st.john... den fin wif st.john, wait for mum to cum.. wow, so late.. wait wif angeline in d bus stop.. n i tell u, bus stop is reli a scary place to be.. many indians... which well, scary.. i dun mean any offense in other gud indians.. i mean lik dat time, angeline see b4 group of indians went bullying a clazmate in d bus stop there, so angeline was oso kinda scared.. n ltr her mum came, n she was callin for me to go.. i mean dun stay in d bus stop.. n i was lik call her to go to her mum there, dun worry.. pat her on her back n let her go, n say bye to her.. =) n den, went to wok n wait a lil bside d road under a tree.. den my mum cum, so late.. ltr was lik, go bek, usual thin n den use com.. bla bla.. ltr gt rdy for tuition... zzz...
d oni thin which is surprisin, is dat ai menn(tuition fren) said she had cut connection wif d triplet i used to noe.. ok, mayb u duno hu r they, sori... =( bt well, i was suprised cuz 1 of d triplet was once my primary bez fren, Chermaine.. n i was surprised which end their frenship was a guy.. she assume ai menn snatch her boyfren in her letter tellin ai menn she cnt b fren wif her, well, nt in d anger mode.. n ai menn was lik, angry? i duno, bt i nvr tot ppl reli chg alot.. =( after 4 years, does she hv to fight for a uselez guy? i mean i duno hu it is or wad, bt shouldn't they juz nid to put time in study den lovey dovey fight? - -" why ppl i noe chg when i am nt around them anymore... i reli duno they r d same ppl i used to noe anot edi... reli scared after goin to college, will my fren change too? =( well, depend d changes is gud or bad lar... haiz...
my mum used to tell me, "fren is nt reliable, they will nt follow u forever, u cn mek another new one anytime n anywhere u go".. n u noe, i always hate dis word she said, bt mayb i was too naive to think dat is nt, or mayb i juz duno... =( s/time, ppl's action reli cn hurt even juz a lil, i duno... i guez when u hurt others, others deserve to hurt u either.. so u reli cnt say selfish thin lik always b by my side n stuff.. bcuz well, dis is reality.. =( they hv their freedom, so walking away is unevitable... there is oni 2 option, plead them to accompany u, or... let them go, which, hurts u.. bt to me, i dun lik tying up s/1's free will, so for me, i let them do the choice, if they wan, i respect n gv a smile to them if they were anyway.. eventho is nt wad i felt in heart which reality was breakin from pieces to pieces of disappointment..... =( nt evi1 is perfect, so no1 is anyone's another.. mayb i am tokin crap here, bt oh well... bt still, why, no1 does noe wad i think in my mind, was it too complicated to noe? =( i wonder........ zzz... bt simple as dat, no1 noe.. since brain is juz me havin.. lol... so complicated thin, juz store in a side.. no energy to think anymore.... arghh!! oo.. n chemistry teacher on leave so d usual other chemistry which is kinda, lil nt-manly-guy which teach in girl private skul came on relif.. zz...

SATURDAY, which is today, gotta say no peace day.. from mornin is scream from dad n mum.. cnt sleep well.. n wake up, i noe mum was scoldin bro for refusin to go tuition.. n den saw me n scold me for doin d hse chores.. n den tok to sis a lil, bla bla.. i noe is i ask her i hv no aim, well, i write d post since mornin.. den leave n go n bek n go... n she tok untill d course of her college thingy.. study sure is hard! bt my question still does nt came to an answer.. ask a wrong person anyway.. =/ mum n dad went out, i noe they were furious on things.. haiz... = =" n den afternoon was instant noodle... all my other bro n sis eat dry noodle.. me eat noodle wif soup.. all d brand is "mee sedaap".. it also means "delicious noodle".. i duno hw many packet they hv eaten... = =" i oni noe they cook n cook n cook again n again.. - -" bt we all still skinny lik stick oni.. all..
i rmb chess comp was near, i on9 msn for some time.. bt mainly yea, on for playin wif mia, yet missed d chance ytd... i left my msn on9 n went off tuition, bt she juz on9 on dat time.. zz... bt nvm, b4 dat chat wif wenn, den after cum bek from tuition time is yuki tok to me.. ask her to send me some requested song from me via msn, den i ask to play game.. ended up playin a minesbomb oso so damn hard, i mean is nt d game, is d PATIENCE!! i'm lik wth.. we wait so loooooong n ended up gt prob!!! crap!!
and another thin, more worse den ever..!! which is..................................................................................... msn.... gt NO CHESS!!!! wth!!!!! =( ruin my mood when i knew dat.. suck... no chess, duno facebook gt anot.. bt i bet we cnt play there oso since mia dun hv account for facebook... haiz.. let's face doom on monday.. =) smile..
anyway, today walau, anger in d hse.. dun even dare to go out from d room.. = =" eventho is nt reli my prob, is bro or sis, bt still... bein drag in for ntg oso for sure.. n well, ntg much to say, oni gt lik b4 watch tv, saw discovery channel hv d history on rome thingy.. all fighters in d ancient, n den they dig out bones n fractures on it, damn cool when they made it to real life scene for d reason, hypothesis n motion.. n all was buried in York.. n my sis after watchin fin, she say, "I wan to go York to see, reli cool!". n oso we gt say, "this is wad history are, so damn cool! nt lik ours which hv soo many islam thin n tokin to great sacrifice they put on other country's civilisation.. = =" no offense, bt i juz think they put too much pressure n forced us to read them, is juz makin d side effect for us hatin it more den normal... seriously, i mean d studies of d history in college.. all was force to tek.. = =" for lettin us know hw great was islam? to know our status n placin which is under d islam ppl? i guez ppl usually thin too easy which reli cn c thru it too damn easy s/time.. n causin side effect.. for dislikin it.. i din reli say dat cuz i haven went to college yet bt almoz most of d ppl was dislikin dat subject in my sis skul! so is juz causin more worse, dun they even think dat should they b civilised too? so outdate which young ppl juz dislik it anyway, cn't they see dat? o_O wad weird thikin which lead many ppl dislikin to b part of d place here... i duno, bt dis is wad they all think... haiz.... = =" burden oni...
ok lar, end here... reli appreciate readin my post.. haiz.... thx for readin n ttfn~~!!