today, well, actually i wanted start nonsense lik i had abandon my blog loooong time n such, bt juz wan to share some things dat r important today.. which is my sister.. well, dun misunderstand anythin, is juz she had her prob n when she told me, gt affected.. and some relationship matter dat gt 3 main steps dat need to hv..(quite below)
i knew her relationship wif her bf was goin down the slope, i was wonderin is she gonna let go? i once taught dat her bf was caring for her, he was okay to me, since my sis hv her bad habits, and he compromised wif it. i think he was a gud guy. but, life isn't juz so normal n nice, and his parents din nt agreed towards their relationship.. it was normal thin for cases lik dis, since he was actually takin up a-levels and goin up to his father's expectation to tek over his family clinic and b a doctor. it was lik u cn c a bright future when my sis will b wif him next time.. but den parents disagree upon their relationship, n he got pressure by them. he was standin in d middle among my sis side n his parents side. he doesn't noe hw to choose, where to go. and he use solution to ran away from pressure and stress by playing online games.
my sis told me, he den started to play hours in d start, bt gradually he had eager to play more and had tried many time playing over d midnite n missed class next day, while my sis, she had been with him, goin to the cyber cafe n still go to class even she's tired. she say he look stressful n she agreed to let him play, bt nvr tot untill dis extent. and den when his results were out, he got a straight B in d paper. i think it was ok, better den average result, bt to his family, he had dis-improved. his family had scolded his till 3AM in mornin and had blame for havin relationship durin college years. he slowly had try to distance himself by sayin less meetin my sis up n to nt let his family so mad.
but she cried when she said, the last time they met, is after 2 months of not meeting each other. and he turn so cold n less tok on phone. he went to pubs and nite clubs wif his frens while he had forgotten his promise to my sis that he will never go there without my sis.. he told her dat she sould nt go cuz is very dangerous n if go oso nid to hv him there, so same for him, but he forgot, and went out almoz evitime. he start to change and he seldom tok to my sis, and when she called, he juz say he's busy.. and when he called, he juz gv sweet toks lik ntg happen.. to my opinion, is lik he was findin pleasure on my sis, hapi den find her, nt hapi den dun bother.
my sis say she was reli sad, and she cried tellin me, he told her he cnt gv her anythin, he doesn't hv enuf efforts to protect her, so he say he willin to let go and let her b juz his fren, to let other guy hv chance to b wif her, to tek his place to gv her a shoulder to lean on. he was lik tokin so sincerely lik as if he was d one hus cnt b wif my sis, but he loved her so much to let her go and find others for her hapiness, and hope for her to b hapi. he say mayb nw, we.. should gv us some space, being frens, and mayb one day, one day when we study abroad in UK, and nt havin any other problem, no parents objection, and den mayb we could meet up in there n be together, wif no worries..
my sis tell me as if he was thinkin so much solution for the two of them bt she couldn't help. she ask him cn we tek the problem and share together, overcome together, face them together? bt he din not reply her a single word. she asked him alot of them, he juz keep silent on d subject..
at first, i blif my sis bf was sincere, great n nice.. but when i hear over wad she said, was it true he really does dat for my sis? or juz to let him get away from his parent's pressure on him.. leavin him free from d stressed he hv from my sis gv? should i blif a guy lik him when he was always askin my sis to let go of him? i duno, cuz i am nt the two of them, i am juz a listener, and i noe, my sis couldn't let go.
she say she cn't! she drop tears and was cryin as if he was reli a reliable person and her true love. she couldn't let go, and she was thinkin he was tryin his best to save their relationship from his parents. she say he was reli confusin her, sometime sayin we b frenz, and den in d bek say somethin dat he reli love her, and she duno wad to do.. he met her in times square mall yesterday after 2months nt meetin each other up, my sis say at first it was normal n okay, ntg reli bad happen, they got smiles n laughter, watch movie.. but den when they r at starbuck, he cum up wif d topic, sayin juz b frenz, n my sis was so mad, dat she tried to cool herself down n ask him to stop tokin down.. but he did nt, he told her why when he wanted her to speak up, she refused, and when he does nt, she did.. and my sis kept silent, did not want to continue wif d topic, and they ltr act ntg happen. and after while walkin, he tell me sis wad she wan to do nw abt the relationship nw? and my sis answer, will u even listen to me? he answer maybe, i can try, i will try if u duwan to b frenz..
my sis tell him, den can u hold my hand? he answer, if u wan, u cn go on and hold mine, bt i cnt go and hold urs.
(do u understand d meanin? when i heard dis, i was reli feelin sad for my sis... is lik my sis wanted only, bt he couldn't mek d step, bt if my sis wan, she cn mek it herself, bt he cnt.. )
and my sis did nt, she juz wok around n den he grabbed her hand n say, dun go simply wok around, 4-years old.. and my sis were unhapi n tell him dun grab her hand lik dat..
he den suddenly ask her, u be my girlfren ok? my sis were hapi den.. but he den continue, but nt nw... and she were sad.. den he say, u b my wife cn anot? n my sis juz smile at him, nvr say anythin.. cuz he den say dat, but not dis time..
he once told my sis, he cn find a better guy, so lets juz b frenz.. we cnt handle being together, and den he told her, if i had fin my studies and handle evithin, till den i will surely go n find u.. i will den ask u to marry me, and i will buy u rings u like and a hse together. bt ltr on, he gv my sis a call and tell her she plan to mek a new gf, he say he was juz playin, d one he luv was my sis.. he say his parents think he is wif dat new gf, and one day, his parents will tek their dislik towards my sis to dat girl and den he cn b wif my sis again.. my sis say he say as if it was a hope in it, n she listen n ltr she was sad, she ask him hw was it wif her bt she did nt mention anythin.. he say lets b bez bez fren, we will juz act lik normal lik a lovers but without a title.. juz bez fren.. and my sis din nt agreed, n he told her wads so important wif the title?? the feelin is more important.. and he oso say b4 he wanted to b a muslim so he cn marry 4 wives and my sis ask, why? and he say, ntg, bt i oni love u only, n she ask den why marry 4? he say d other 3 is juz playing oni, d oni person he lik is my sis..
i told her, wad is she goin to plan for? and she juz doesn't wan to gv up on d relationship she had.. she say she wanted to try changin wad he think.. he say he wasn't lik dat, he was lik tryin his bez to save their relationship, doin his best for them.. she was cryin lik he was her life.. and i was feelin reli sad lookin at her.. eventho i dun c her more den 2 days in 1 week, bt she is truly my sis... n i cared for her too..
i see her cried and i tell her, is he wroth for my sis to act lik dis? is he worth for my sis to cry for him lik dat? does he worth for makin my sis to hurt and he juz push the responsibility to my parents.. is he worth for havin to b wif my sis?
n i cried when i say i will surely not agree to see my own sister to be wif a person hu isn't worth for and mek u hurt lik dis evitime lik she was cryin for him for the rest of the life.
i told her, your life is yours! not use to gv to another guy u love n trusted on.. you cn live alone, wok alone in ur own life without anyone, bcuz you are you, and dis is your life, nt his..!
i say, is correct dat u should appreciate wad u had, and him to b ur bf.. BUT, if he is so easily given up and let go, he IS NOT someone u should appreciate to, bcuz he isn't worth for in d start den..
i told her, u oni think straight, but nt all.. anythin cn happen, nt juz wad u see, bt u think.. why dun u think of ur future? i blif u think till d end he is gud till nw, he still tryin to save ur relationship.. bt why dun u think if he is not, he is juz tired of this? he was lyin, playin, makin fun of u wantin u to let go? n u juz luk lik a dog followin him along where he go, and he was hapi, he will hug u, when he was nt, he will nt even care to luk u in d eyes..
why cn he so easily gv up if he is sincere? why he wanted u to let go till d end? she told me is bcuz he is easy influenced.. and i told her, den he isn't worth for! before marriage and he cn ended up being influenced till dis extent, will he b able to not gt influenced in d future? can u garantee dat he will nt be after u marry him, and wad cn u see? he will gt influenced and end ur marriage? wad abt ur child? do u think for them??
she say she wanted him to b lik dis, n he wanted her to b lik dat.. and she say she was changin, bt i told her, personalities is very hard to change... why? is nt bcuz of it is your personality, is bcuz of one's thinkin.. if u juz think one way, den u would nt think other bt the way u think of and ended up showin emotion.. dat's y, some ppl tend to hv short tempered, bcuz they usually hv a straight thinkin dat the other party is criticizing them and they tend to show emotion dat is even without their control and even they try to hide it..
in d opp of short-tempered ppl, they will juz either by thinkin ignorin n nt listenin, or juz obediently keep their mouth shut n listen..
but if they cn think further, and more pathway in mind, u cn think of listenin, den did nt show temper, and recall, tryin to change oneself, thinkin if i had change, wad will happen, and things will gt better.. =) u cn even smile n tend to nt show more emotion in reality and facts by lil problem u face.. dun think straight, bt evi1 does dat in their first reaction.. is normal, bcuz thinkin tek time.. haha.. so ppl tend to say me thinkin too much, my sis say dat, my fren say that, it cnt b good n bad, bcuz i kept heavy emotion to myself in heart, so sometime i oso envy ppl cn do wad they think first, n i juz show out normal emotion lik mad n such, bt when it cums to heavy type, is either i keep, if nt i will mayb gt minor stroke when it "burst" out.. so i dun tend to show out wad i reli care most, bcuz when it hurt, i will gt emotion affected n makin me suffer in dat case.. sad but true, no one understand my pain... but time will slowly wipes memories off, i am tryin dat.. so we must stay strong willed, no one can chg you, but u urself cn.. dat's y i tend givin a step backwards to other specially my family to nt let any quarrel happen, by nt speakin up wad i wanted, n accept d fact n thins, to juz hv a better endin.. bcuz i will think of "if i do, den it will ended up lik..." and i will go for d other better solution...
and den continue, i told her, love is surely important, but if u dun hv a title, is is worth it? will u imagine hw ppl will think of u when u and him walkin together and he hv a titled gf, n u were juz a "bez fren".. wad will ppl say u are? and den when in d future, dun tell me he is gonna say he love you only, and without a title? if he have a titled wife, and u are juz a lover dat u 2 hv mutual feelins, wad will others think? u are the third party, u r d person hu break their family.. hw will ur child think if u hv? their parents is nt official couple, juz an outsider? wad will ur child do and grew up upon? is he worth for u doin dat, by say he "love" you?! what the hell??
and den i told her, an important and TRUE relationship, nid 3 main step.. no, actually juz dis 3, untill u marriage and old, is very important to maintain it...
Step 1: ACCEPT the other party.
Step 2: UNDERSTAND each other
Step 3: FILL up the what the other party lack of
it means to start a relationship, u have to accept each other.. the oter party's gud and bad side.. dun care if she is blind, deaf, dumb, lack a finger, and whatever in appearance.. or maybe personalities, attitude, liking, EVERYTHING u must accept, den oni u 2 are sincerely in a TRUE relationship and hw u start!! if u dun hv step 1, u wouldn't hv stay long or u juz dun lik her.. = ="
den, if u accept, means u hv to understand each other.. u noe wad each other thinks, wad u lik, u do, ur fav things, what u hate most, and understand each other.. understanding is reli important, if u do not, u will surely break up in relationship in short! and argue always, and sayin u dun understand me, n d other say d other as well.. understand is reli hard, u duno wad the other think, bt if u try, u can, is possible..
is not u can or cannot, is u want or not!
and d end, is step 3, the most most most important and hardest... nt evi1 is possible to do dis.. bcuz nt evi1 is willing to change.. =/ do u understand wad it means? is to be the what each other lacks.. most ppl after marriage MUST have dis bcuz, if u dun, u will always ended up quarrel..
for example, is dat is one is very short-tempered.. wad she lack of is to hav a step backwards n to compromised.. so den, d other will b wad she lack, and he will compromise her and try to cheer her up.. and things will get better..
if two does not hv dis step, they will ended up quarrel each other n nt makin any compromise, and marriage will nt end long... =/
dis is oso d main reason why ppl tend to divorce, they mostly dun have Step 3! understand? very important, so try it n make a difference!
and d last, i oso told her, u cried as if he was evithin, while he does nt luk worth it to me.. if he is, juz let him be.. and juz let go first, mayb after 3 years u gv each other space, mayb after dat, u will think back n mek a better different thinkin to b wif him again or not.. does he reli sincerely love u all dis time u left? will he turn bek after all those time.. and when he hv found another, he cn oso see him wif a better mind n nt being so emotional upon d relationship u hv, n u cn hv a better one..
the world does nt juz hv oni him one guy, and he oso dun hv juz one girl in his world too.. so he cn find another, u oso deserve too.. =) and till den, eventho mayb it teks time to find, but surely u will..
i tell her, will u blif, there will be a fated person among the billions of ppl in the earth, and u will nt noe hu it is, where dat person were, bt if u live on and mayb one day, u will surely meet each other, eventho it tek years mayb, but if dat is fated, den he will treat u best.. mayb dat's wad we were live on for? to meet dat person in our life, dat one and only person no matter hw long it takes to encounter, no matter near or far, no matter we r juz stranger, u will noe it when it cum..
mayb is juz my dream, but i blif, dis is my thinkin.
i told her, if u wan to marry a person, is not because you love him, is because he love you.. =]
a person hu cn accept u, understand u and b the one u lack of, dis is surely juz one word to me, TRUE LOVE...
and den, i blif dat will b ur fated person, n i hope if anyone of u meet wif a person lik dis, try accept him for hu he is, bcuz he sincerly lik u, and surely u will love him..(unlez ur heart is mek of stone, dat is exception)
and dats y i say, marry a person dat love you, nt because d reason dat u love him.. =)
(i dun mean u dun luv him ar, pls understand d meanin k?).
btw, dis is all my personal opinion on things, i may nt gone thru a relationship wif a guy b4, but pls dun b rude if u dun agree upon, n i'm sori if it does nt go wif ur diff thinkin... bt i appreciate on u readin dis.. ty.
therefore, i end my long post today, i hope dis post will b shared to other n let ppl noe dat we live for ourself.. dun think dat person is evithin, dun sacrifice urself to juz bcuz u lose him, if he was so easy to lose, den he isn;t worth for ur love in d start! =]
thx for readin, ttfn.. <3 -Felicia Gan...
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